I am a blogger without a medical degree, but with OPINIONS on medical topics.
Instead of throwing a bunch of pills at your headache, you need to go get a massage or two. Ask the massage therapist to concentrate on your shoulders, neck, and face. Bonus: If there’s a service dog in the room, you get the added benefit of hearing a dog snore during your massage, and I’m here to tell you that there’s nothing more relaxing. Massage is NOT an indulgence, and should be completely covered by insurance. (It’s not covered by my insurance.) I’ve now gone to the massage place twice in the past three weeks, and my head is improving and that’s nothing but good, mainly because I’m not swallowing a bunch of pills that I don’t understand.
I am a fashion blogger. And also, a makeup blogger.
I bought this shirt last week and I love it because it carries all of my hobbies. (Please know that the paintbrush represents the makeup brush I bought a few weeks back to aid in the illusion of eyebrows, as I’ve reached the magical age when eyebrows start to fade away like powdered sugar in a windstorm or Kristy McNichol in my lifetime. (Where IS she? I LOVED her!)) ((Please also know that I don’t consider makeup a hobby, because if you saw my face you would know…))
I am a health blogger.
Back in May I knocked all processed foods out of my diet, and I decided that bread and I were no longer friends. (Warm bread gives me a headache, and regular bread messes with my stomach.) I don’t exercise beyond walking with a Fitbit on my left wrist, yet thirteen pounds are gone. And here’s the thing: I’m not eating like a jerk, and I still eat doughnuts every once in awhile because I love them. This is not a diet. This is simply no bread (except for doughnuts and the occasional tortilla because doughnuts and burritos are important to me) and nothing from a bag or can with ingredients that are hard to pronounce. Shoot a message my way if you want to talk to the woman who has supported me through this. (Actually, many women have supported me through this, but only one of them actually calls every two weeks to check in and give me Wisdom.)
I am a political blogger.
Hey, did you see that Republican presidential debate? Whoa, Nelly!
I am a DIY blogger.
We’ve been in the house for nearly a year, and the only thing hanging on our walls is a weird painting of a tree that I did last year. (Wait! Maybe the paintbrush on my shirt really CAN represent an actual paintbrush!) COMING SOON! DIY STUFF THAT SMELLS A LOT LIKE SOMETHING YOU WOULD FIND ON PINTEREST! PROBABLY WITH MASON JARS AND TWINE!
I am a food blogger.
You guys. I picked green beans with some friends a few weeks back, and then we boiled and blanched and froze them and a few nights back I cooked them. We also pickled some green beans because we are hard core and I’m a food blogger! For breakfast this morning, I had a banana dipped in almond butter!
I am a music blogger and a master at not-so-vague life references.
This song has been in my head today for reasons that are no one’s business. “A heart that’s full up like a landfill. A job that slowly kills you…” (You have no idea how smelly and appropriate that landfill reference is, but you do know that the author of this blog is completely responsible for the opinions found within this blog and that these opinions don’t necessarily reflect the opinions of anyone else. Also, I know it’s a Radiohead song, but when it plays in my head, it smells more like Regina Spektor.) Anyway, if we had a family crest, this song would play when I press the little red button that is positioned between the cat and the word Guacamole.
I am a vlogger.
No, I’m not. Have I thanked you lately for hanging out with me? Dear Lord, I’ve thought about quitting this blog thing so many times over the past few years, but honestly? It’s one of my favorite things, and why would you never watch Seven Brides for Seven Brothers again if you really really loved it? Why would you deny yourself a burrito?