My Cervix, Pumpkin Balls, and Thanksgiving!

This morning I went to my annual gynecological appointment where I was pleasantly reminded that if you don’t have a cervix, you don’t need a Pap smear! High five!

After a quick talk with my doctor about how 45 can really suck with the eyebrows falling out and the hair thinning and the tiredness and the fibroid cyst mumbo jumbo, I pulled my pants up and headed over to the closest grocery store where I purchased a pound of Honeycrisp apples for $1.99 and all of the supplies to make pumpkin balls because I’m ADDICTED to pumpkin balls. (I was afraid of Medjool dates until last week. Now they’re my best friends.)

I’ll tell you what we’re having on Thursday, and you tell me what we’re missing:
Lemon cranberry scones (They seem like a good idea.)
Corn bread dressing
Green bean casserole
Rolls or something or other
Mashed sweet potatoes
Mashed regular potatoes with some sort of gravy
Some sort of roasted vegetables or Brussels sprouts or something maybe
Big dinner salad
Cranberry salad (This was always my favorite until I threw it up a few years ago. Now I eat it responsibly.)
Pumpkin pie
Apple pie

(Yes, there will be turkey. I don’t want to talk about it.)

Meredith is convinced that we need appetizers. Do we? Maybe some sort of weird dip? What are you having that I should be having? ‘ ‘ ‘text/javascript’>

19 thoughts on “My Cervix, Pumpkin Balls, and Thanksgiving!”

  1. Well, maybe I could ANSWER that question if I knew whether our vegan kid & his family were going to be here. For Pete’s sake! It’s Monday already. How can people not know on Monday whether they will be making an 8-hour drive on Wednesday?. Do young people today not know the first thing about planning ahead? Do they not know what the grocery store will be like on
    Wednesday if they don’t let me know before then? Will they be welcome no matter what? Of *course* they will. Am I eve- so-slightly peeved at the lack of ability to plan for that eventuality? You be the judge.

    (Growling and pacing near the phone in Cupertino)

  2. Lady, you aren’t missing a thing!! Wow. But if you do decide to make a weird dip, make this one: http://allrecipes.com/recipe/14930/florentine-artichoke-dip/ Just like the submitter of the recipe wrote, people ALWAYS ask me to bring “my” artichoke & spinach dip, it is a cornerstone of every holiday and gathering. (I don’t pretend I made it up, I share the recipe, but they always want me to make it. I guess I would always want someone else to do something lifechanging like this for me too, if I had all the powers.) Besides being extra liberal with the garlic, I don’t change anything. I serve with sourdough baguette sliced thin, like a bit less than 1 cm slices. Less bread to clog up your mouth, maximum getting-the-dip-into-your-face abilities.

    But yes. Your menu is already on fleek.

  3. Whether you need appetizers depends, in my view, on what time you eat. If you eat after 5 pm then appetizers are nice. If you eat at 3 pm then EITHER you don’t need appetizers – OR – what you might want is hors d’oeuvres snacks later in the evening. We are partial to cheeses and pates and also shrimp cocktail for these purposes. And yes, we fully understand that there is no way we need cheese either before or after we eat all that other stuff. (Anne’s aritchoke dip sounds like it would be an awesome choice either way – yummy!).
    I would recommend roast cauliflower for your veggie.
    We are skipping green bean casserole this year in favor of a special salad (butter lettuce, raspberry viniagrette, toasted nuts, pomengranate). Enjoy!!

  4. Your menu sounds great! I’m only cooking for 4 or 5 of us this year (I love this SO much), less food, less cooking, much less stress!! YAY!

    Our dinner time is 2:00, because I can’t just wake up and hit the ground running any more. I’m going to set out a fresh fruit plate, and carrot and celery sticks with ranch dip, if people feel that they are starving. Nothing fancy.

    Brussels sprouts will be on our table. I love the price of Honeycrisp apples right now!!

  5. I am a roast veggie fiend. I roast carrots and yams and parsnips and wedges of onion and Brussels sprouts.

  6. Your menu looks lovely. I don’t serve appetizers because I hate to spend the whole day cooking and have people fill up on appetizers and not eat the meal. Christmas, however, is different. Our whole menu is appetizers so I want them to fill up on them then.

  7. I highly recommend cashew gravy for the most delicious non-meat gravy:

    6 T. raw, unsalted cashews ground to a fine powder/paste
    1 ½ C. water
    1 T. cornstarch
    1-2 T. soy sauce to taste (I prefer a milder organic kind)
    squirt of lemon juice
    seasonings to taste (I use freshly ground pepper and a little garlic salt)

    Grind the nuts in a food processor or blender until a paste starts to stick to the sides. While the food processor or blender is on a low speed, slowly add the water.Transfer most of the cashew milk mixture to a saucepan, reserving a bit to blend with the corn starch. Heat the cashew milk, then add the corn starch mixture and stir constantly until gravy starts to thicken. Add soy sauce, lemon juice, and seasonings to taste.

  8. My family has had a running joke for the last few years – since the year my youngest brother asked about the “pre-dinner snacks.” We still have no idea where he got the term, but it’s worth having cut up vegetables, chips and salsa and crackers and cheese on hand to prevent the blank stares to the that question. Thanksgiving is at my house this year – I’m glad I’ve got family who are willing to commute it in for us!

  9. Broccoli rice casserole was an always must for our family. Also, brining the turkey is the only way too go since I’ve discovered it. Otherwise, you seem set!

  10. Wild rice is always a must at our house — my husband’s mom always stuffed her turkey with it, but I just cook it and put it in a bowl. Other than that, our menu sounds like yours. Appetizers? I’m firmly on the side of “I cooked all this stuff and you want to fill up on SNACKS?!” camp. Sometimes I’ll put out a veggie platter, but this year I’m not even doing that. Come to my table hungry. Or else.

    Every time I check in here I feel like Carroll and I must have been twins separated at birth.

  11. So my extended family is not so into traditional turkey which is fine by me. But since I’m hosting this year I get stuck with the circus of chicken fried steak. And it always makes me chuckle ..my husband is brown and says that every white woman’s he known has made green bean casserole. I don’t make green bean casserole.

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