Also, I have a spider bite on my back, but it isn’t destroying me.

2016’s end of July kicked off a year of suck for our family that is still pretty much sucking, despite my (admittedly (slightly) weakening) ability to bring a constant lighthearted mustard-swilling dazzle.


As you (may or may not) know, Jeff’s position was eliminated back in July of 2016 and I’m not here to sing songs about human suffering, because to be honest: We haven’t truly suffered, and because of that I know we are severely lucky. I freelance. He freelances. WE ARE PART OF THE HUDDLED MASSES RECEIVING COVERAGE FROM THE AFFORDABLE CARE ACT OH MY GOD IT’S TRUE.


I would like to take this opportunity to encourage everyone out there to have their position eliminated. It creates a lot of awkward moments that you probably haven’t had to whack-a-mole (verb) in your snug and unplagued existence as a shiny employed person (whose grass is surely greener than mine).


For example, if you buy a pair of shoes or attend a concert when your previous income isn’t being crammed into your bank account, people will assume that you are squandering, and those vocalized assumptions will really test your tongue. And by “your tongue” I actually mean “my tongue.”


I do know that when the right opportunities come along, they will arrive at the perfect time because the glass is half full of lemonade with silver linings and really: We can’t handle more than we’re given and so forth, but in the meantime I have to wonder if all of this (patience-testing and frustrating yet unimportant because nobody gets hurt) shit (sorry) keeps funneling down to us (more on that a bit later) due to the current status of my hair.

Photo on 6-22-17 at 12.30 PM

It has been growing out since the morning of 12/21/15. Hypothesis: Shortening my hair will also shorten the year of suck that continues to suck. (Very superstitious, Stevie Wonder.) SO, the hair will be shorn on Thursday because I’m happier when I’m balder and I need a dose or two of Joy right now.


Real quick on the shit funnel I mentioned two paragraphs back: Two weeks ago, the hinge on our iMac broke. It was a total hardware thing that the Apple Store said is simply an issue of snapping a new hinge on, but “it will take 3 days” and those 3 days quickly turned into 5 days and when the iMac came home, we found the Apple Store had done something that compromised our screen and suddenly those three days became TWO WEEKS. Two weeks of me being unable to freelance, and I should have been happy about a break, but it was difficult to unriddle the thrill. (Because: Shoes! Concerts!) ((<–Sarcasm))


Today I had one goal: Catch up on the 14 days I missed with the current freelance project. Boring story shortened: I logged in and found that my freelance account had been archived due to inactivity for two weeks. I cannot gain access to my freelance project until tomorrow. (Note: At least I *HAVE* a computer. At least I *HAVE* freelance. At least I *HAVE* spinach in the fridge, et cetera.)


(Scout likes to watch me eat, and salads can be awkward with a pup on your hip.)

Tour de Fleece started on July 1.



I’ve been working on an entrelac cardigan:

I went to Springfield yesterday and stocked up on Bee Raw and Purple Haze honey. I’m within 100 pages of finishing Life After Life. I think we’re all caught up.

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13 thoughts on “Also, I have a spider bite on my back, but it isn’t destroying me.”

  1. Ahhh, yes. The joys of the “reduction in force”. You left out the glances of pity.

    They’re my favorite.

  2. Love Kate Atkinson. Everything if hers. Sorry about the suck. I TOO am getting my hair cut Thursday! Coincidence? Serendipity?

  3. Oh how I can relate on so many levels! Having ones position eliminated makes way for an entirely different take on life, YOUR take, not anybody else’s. We are each in charge of how we wish to survive. A spider bite?

  4. I agree cut it!!! My idea of growing my hair out is whether or not to have my ears covered! ???? If you don’t mind me asking what does Jeff do, what position is he looking for?

  5. I hope your shit funnel year of suckage ends soon! I’m way underemployed this summer and pay a small fortune each month for COBRA health insurance. I have a certain acquaintance who often says to me (when I talk about my underemployed state), “now, why do you need to work this summer? Is it for monetary reasons?” SIGH. People.

  6. I can offer no other words of encouragement other than; that is some serious mustard swilling! Respect.

  7. Are you SURE you can afford that haircut?

    If you hear anything like that, send them my way. I am tired of the asshats on my Facebook page and I’m looking for new meat.

    I’ve always loved your hair short–would like to do the same, but then I’d be Uncle Fester* with glasses.

    *Why has it taken me until 56 to realize the horror that is the name Uncle Fester?

  8. Ugh. I want this to end for you. Reading this made my head spin at the thought that our current and very similar shit show could endure for a YEAR. Denial has been my dearest friend. Something good will happen. You know who give me the stink eye and concerned looks when I buy a pair of shoes? ME. Damn, I hate that feeling. Ok…. much empathy your way. And I can’t wait to see your fresh hair. I’m getting sheared tomorrow. I can’t have hair irritation on top of all the other irritations. Good mental energy flowing in your direction.

  9. So sorry the past year has been full of suck. I hope it ends very soon. Like right now. Today.

    Can’t wait to see the new do.

    Sending good vibes to you and yours.

  10. I have to say that the photo of you swilling mustard caused me to shiver in horror. (Not a big mustard fan here.) Hope the suckage endeth sooneth. (But you have been amazingly upbeat about it all — kudos to you!

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