The last time we talked, I mentioned that I was tossing pickles and crackers into a bowl of lentils and calling it comfort food. More than one person has asked for a recipe, so let’s talk lentils! (I was trying to come up with a word that rhymed with lentil for the title of today’s post, and the first thing that came to mind was Yentl. Now that I’m sitting here with a dog on my lap, I’m realizing we have dental, gentle, mental, rental, and fentanyl, which doesn’t really rhyme at all, but what good am I if I’m not current on the opioid epidemic in America?)
Recipe for Comfort Lentils:
- Make a cup or so of brown lentils. (I normally dump a little more than a cup of dry lentils into my Instant Pot and then cover them with about two cups of vegetable broth. Cook for 16 minutes, and then let the pot sit (unreleased) for about 10 more minutes. Release the pressure. You now have perfect lentils.)
- Cut up a few pickles. (I go with Claussen whole dills because they’re firm, and floppy pickles are bullshit.) Throw those cut up pickles into your lentils.
- Grab some crackers. I use saltines, but I can see where Ritz might be better because Ritz are always better. Crush them in your right hand and let the crumbs fall into the lentils. You are a superhero.
- Stir and eat. Try not to think about the government. See if you can remember all of the lyrics to Miss Saigon. (You can’t, but it’s fun to try.)
If you have a little more time to prepare something even better, then make the lentils my brother-in-law makes every week. He made them at Christmas and I couldn’t get enough, so now *I* make them every week. It’s like that hair commercial where you tell a friend and they tell a friend and so on, and eventually everyone in the world has great hair. Ah, but instead of great hair, we all have great lentils.
Recipe for Bob’s Lentils:
- In a small bowl, mix 2T of Dijon mustard, 2T of olive oil, 2T of apple cider vinegar, 1T of maple syrup, and 1t of salt. (T = Tablespoon. t = teaspoon.) Whip and whip and whip until it’s all mixed together. Go ahead and add pepper and garlic if you want. I never do.
- Cook up about a cup and a half of green lentils. (They’re a bit firmer than brown.) See my Instant Pot instructions above if you need a reminder.
- While the lentils are cooking, cut up about 1/4 cup (or more. I do more.) of carrots, pickles, celery, and cauliflower. I always forget the cauliflower.
- When the lentils are done, throw them into a big bowl with the vegetables. THEN, dump the dressing on top and mix it up. Dear Lord. Maybe put it over rice if you want. I don’t. I’m also thinking cutting up an apple and throwing it in might be fun. If you do that, let me know how it goes.
Here is a photo of today’s cut up vegetables. Once again, I forgot the cauliflower.
Here is a photo of the completed lentil salad. The salad is so much better than this photo makes it out to be. Trust me.
Try not to think about the government.