1. I ordered and received my calendar for 2018-2019 school year. I transcribed all school events, birthdays, and appointments into the new calendar with bright red ink from Japan. I messed up/scratched out more than 10 times, which led me to consider ordering a new calendar, but then I remembered that Only God Is Perfect. I forgave myself.
2. I went to the mall with no intention of buying Big Girl Makeup. I moseyed into the Bare Minerals store to see what was going on, and suddenly I found myself on a chair and Gabby was swirling and buffing and for the first time in a long time I felt like I looked good. SO, I bought the Big Girl Makeup (Big Girl Makeup = Any sort of makeup that cannot be purchased at a drug store).
3. I attended my second “wear a swimsuit” event of the summer without owning a swimsuit. I sat on the edge of the pool in jeans and tried to figure out when I last owned a swimsuit. Answer = Five years ago. I came home from the event and found this swimsuit on Amazon. I quickly lamented the fact that the only designs available in my size were horizontally striped. Ah! But I then said “fuck it” and hit the Buy It Now! button. (I tend to curse the worst of my curses when it’s swimsuit time.) (Bonus Info: The swimsuit actually fits, because somewhere in my youth or childhood I must have done something good.)
4. I learned that I also curse the worst of my curses while finding the balance between my age and my style. A few weeks back I got a haircut that removed half of the fake black color that I tend to apply monthly. I considered stopping on the way home to purchase yet another bottle of the fake black color, but it was hot outside and I had work to do, so I said “fuck it” and I’m now one of those salt and pepper people.
5. The girls let me accompany them to all of their summer medical and dental appointments and the only time they felt embarrassed was when I started making friends with the paper towel dispensers.
Paper Towel Dispenser: It’s killing me that I can’t ask you to dance.
Me: I would love to dance with you, but I’ll have to wait for the neurologist to leave the room. I’m not sure he would approve, and I don’t feel like having that conversation with him.