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That’s me in the corner.

October 1st, 2018 · 6 Comments · Daily

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Not Good: At noon, I met a friend for lunch. When we arrived at the restaurant (one of my favorites), we learned that the location was closed. Permanently.

Good: We drove about a mile down the road to a different restaurant, and then walked to an artsy consignment shop and a cookie store.

Not Good: Here is a metaphor. I’m sitting on a splintery chair and it should have four legs but it has only three and part of me is like, “This is fine. Everything will be fine.” Ah, but my legs are starting to cramp and I need to flag down a maker of chair legs, but it appears that I don’t have hands (or a flag) in this rodeo. (None of this is anything you need to worry about.)

Good: I ran away from home a few hours ago to treat myself to a manicure and a pedicure. (This is not a common treat.) Anyway, while sitting in the chair, a girl rushed into the salon because she needed an “emergency manicure.” That’s right: An emergency manicure. THEN, she requested a color called “I’m a Princess.”

Manicurist (holding up a bottle of nail polish): This one?

Princess: No. I’m a princess!

Oh, life is bigger. It’s bigger than you and you are not me.

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6 responses so far ↓

  • 1 RzDrms // Oct 1, 2018 at 9:37 pm

    I thought that I heard you laughing
    I thought that I heard you sing
    I think I thought I saw you try…

  • 2 Zoot // Oct 2, 2018 at 5:54 am

    I just love the way you write, even your most seemingly benign words stir me but things like your chair metaphor hit me in the gut.

    Here’s to finding new favorite restaurants and never needing an emergency manicure. (I mean, unless, the cause would be good? I don’t know. Manicures are a spa-type treatment for me so turning them into something that causes anxiety seems like it defeats the point.)

  • 3 Dooley // Oct 2, 2018 at 7:09 am

    There is no color called ‘I’m a Princess.’ So maybe you should have your nails painted with ‘Genuflect, Sucker.’

  • 4 Kim // Oct 2, 2018 at 8:16 am

    That manicure story is EVERYTHING.

  • 5 RzDrms // Oct 2, 2018 at 11:23 am

    There actually is an OPI nail polish color with that name, except it’s full name is “I’m a Princess, You’re Not!,” which makes the emergency manicure story even MORE insane!

  • 6 gingermog // Oct 3, 2018 at 7:54 am

    Emergency manicure? “I’m a Princess” nail varnish? Real life is funnier than fiction. Truth. I guess there are some people who worry if they break nail.

    Sometimes I like to think of myself as an animation Batman superhero type, scanning the rooftops of Soho with my knickers over my tights earnestly scanning the sky for the bat signal to alert me to an animation emergency.