Buh-Buh-Buh-Buh-Buh-Bad. Bad to the (Ham)Bone!

Back in 2016 I told myself I would no longer tear apart one of the presidential candidates in order to promote the other. I’m going to try (my damndest) to do that again this year, but it might be difficult.

Similarly, I’m going to try (my damndest) to not dehumanize any of the candidates, but it’s important to note that personification is not the same as dehumanization.

Here’s an example. I recently finished reading Quichotte by Salman Rushdie. One of the quotes I enjoyed from the book is:

Our president looks like a Christmas ham and talks like Chucky.
We’re America, bitch. 

(Now, before you get all tied up in knots, please know that the book is a work of FICTION. 100% fiction, probably. Back to the example!)

It’s too easy to say our (hypothetical) president looks like a Christmas ham.

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However, it smells like delicious magical realism to say a Christmas ham looks like our (hypothetical) president.

I’m trying to be a better person during this election cycle. I would say I’m trying to be more like Jesus, but then I might be accused of using my faith as justification for doing what I know is wrong.
(All presidents in this entry are fictional, and any resemblance to presidents living or dead is purely coincidental.)

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