Don’t cover up with a nice warm blanket statement that’s not backed by data.

You know, absolutely no one has reached out to ask me how I feel about the coronavirus pandemic. I’m glad, too, because I’m not a doctor, nor do I know what we can or can’t expect from this thing. I don’t feel like I can puke out advice or judgment, but luckily, enough people on Facebook (who are also not doctors) can!

Today I learned that the virus is biblical, so get ready to meet your maker. Also, even though it’s everywhere, the virus is a US election thing and the Democrats are ruining March Madness! And another thing: It’s just media hype. More people will die this week from getting their eyes pecked out by rabid cross-eyed hummingbirds than by catching the coronavirus.

I can’t speak for everyone in my house, but I’ve decided to take my cues from one of my very favorite films.

Truth: I am taking the virus very seriously, mainly because:
1. I love 17 people who just might die if they catch it.
2. My only New Year’s resolution was to stop spreading so many communicable diseases around. (My nickname in college was Sexy Cesspool, and of course I’m lying, but it IS a very fun thing to say out loud, isn’t it?)

For now, these days are over:
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Doug Statue Makeout Party

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It’s a sacrifice I’m willing to make.
For now.

6 thoughts on “Don’t cover up with a nice warm blanket statement that’s not backed by data.”

  1. So, patient Zero in the communities where those statues are located? MmmmHmm.

    Seriously, (and indeed this is serious stuff) your writing is the antidote our world needs right now. Healthy good wishes to you and your sweet family!

  2. I have rolled my eyes so dang hard over the misinformation going around on Facebook that my eyes hurt. You can still do the kissy face with statues if you wipe them down with an ethanol wipe first.

    1. SLU has a Parent & Family FB page that is about to send me over the edge. Their campus has several statues too!

  3. I’d forgotten Just how many statues you’d made out with…looking forward to this passing so we can see you back in action.

  4. Our older son IS a doctor, so when he told us three weeks ago to stock up on everything we might need if we had to self-quarantine for 30 days, we listened. (We beat the toilet paper rush by a couple weeks.) Last week he told us his new routine for coming home from work (a 2-minute walk): he calls his girlfriend to let her know he is coming, she opens the garage doors; when he gets into the garage he takes off all his clothes and throws them in a plastic tub set out for that purpose, then he goes straight into the shower without touching anything. When the plastic tub gets full he does that laundry himself so she never touches it. He is a family practice doc with the Indian Health Service on the Zuni reservation in New Mexico; as of last Friday they had not had any coronavirus cases.

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