Four Calling Birds

The goal was to write every day in November, but I took yesterday off because as some people might say: I wasn’t in a good place. SO, I punished myself by forcing the failure of my goal. Sounds crazy? It is! Maybe someday I’ll tell you all about my history with self-punishment, but today is not that day because today I want to tell you these things:

1. I’ve been taking Vitamin E because I heard it will help fade mosquito bite scars. So far, it is absolutely not working.

2. I went to Trader Joe’s last week and I couldn’t NOT buy the Nuts About Rosemary Mix. Every time I open the can, I think about my friend whose mom’s name is Rosemary. I also think about How To Succeed in Business Without Really Trying because of this.
Sadly, these damned nuts are not only delicious, but they’re also a migraine trigger. Life is so uncertain.

3. Now that the election is over, my Facebook feed is starting to fill with people judging others for putting up Christmas tree lights too early. Damnit! I say: Unless you’re wrapping your lights a little too tightly around the necks of street urchins, hang those lights.

4. My therapist is trying to work with me on Confrontation and my (mostly unhealthy) avoidance of it. As a result, every single time I feel like disagreeing with someone, I don’t. And then I feel shitty because my therapist is in my head saying, “Speak your truth.” BUT, this is my truth: Unless your (often unsolicited) truth has knocked me down and is kicking the shit out of me, I can walk away from it. That’s the nice thing about having legs and choices.

(Side note: I’ve been having this dream lately where I can’t walk. I try to walk, but it just hurts. By the way, nobody wants to hear about dreams.)

5. I always laugh to myself when people talk about their truths or their journeys. I have no idea why I think those phrases are funny (overuse, maybe?), but I do.

3 thoughts on “Four Calling Birds”

  1. “Speak your truth” “Share your journey” “Make the ask” So many “new” word formations are already becoming clichés.

    I’m sorry you’ve been feeling so down, and down on yourself, lately, but really happy you are in process of finding a brighter path. Having those two dogs in the White House is going to go a long way toward fixing at least some of what ails us.

    And confrontation? Yeah, no. Ugh. I mean sure, it’s important to “keep it real” & “be heard” and all that. But almost without exception I’ve found it’s better to sit on conflicting thoughts for a while. Maybe figure out a way to express them and resolve a situation with a bit *less* confrontation thankyouverymuch. Sigh.

    Navigating life? It’s hard sometimes.


  2. I love this so much – unless you’re wrapping those lights a little too tightly around the necks of street urchins, hang those lights.
    My only laugh today. Thank you!
    Tomorrow will be a good day. Things I tell myself.

  3. I don’t mind the word journey in a personal context-but I hate it in the corporate context. To me a journey involves wandering, perhaps pausing to look around, maybe a misstep that turns into serendipity. It can also be hard and demanding (like the journey to Mordor), depending. But in the corporate context, I just want to yell, “We’re not on a journey, folks, we’re sitting at our desks, getting stuff done!”
    We hung our Christmas lights because on MN when it hits 70 on a weekend in November you get that stuff done. Our not-frozen fingers appreciate it! BUT, we don’t have them lit. But I kind of want to light them……so we’ll see.
    Thanks for writing!

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