Category: Daily

On the left is a jar of apple butter that was delivered to me this morning by my mom and dad. It was made at a church that is attended by a woman named Minerva who lives across the street from my folks. When stirred into hot tea? It is PERFECT. (It is also perfect when spread thinly (or even thickly) onto an English muffin.)

On the right is a jar of honey that was passed along to Jeff yesterday by his mom and dad, who have hives on their property. We get one or two jars each year from them. When stirred into hot tea? It is PERFECT. (It is also perfect when drizzled over the cookies that are made with only oats and bananas. That link will take you to a version that contains walnuts. I leave out the walnuts.)

One other thing that is perfect when stirred into hot tea? Teavana’s German Rock Sugar, which is now called Perfectea Rock Sugar and I personally think the name change is crap, and I wonder if it has anything at all to do with the three-way marriage between Oprah (and her weird chai blend), Starbucks, and Teavana. The jar I have was purchased as German Rock Sugar, and I’m not sure I’ll ever buy Perfectea Rock Sugar, because: Come On. (The good news? With all of this apple butter and honey, it will be a long time before I need to explore my convictions.) ‘ ‘ ‘text/javascript’>

Jeff took the girls to his parents’ house, and all I got was a bunch of freelance done and this amazing shirt:

(Also, some weird flaky Nutter Butter cookie things, another chapter of Mockingjay completed, three rows and a leaf knit onto my Leftie, and a load of laundry dried.)

((I also considered making pumpkin pie snickerdoodles, but then I changed my mind and ran in place to a Taylor Swift song. Meredith bought the new album, and I allow myself to listen to it only if I’m running in place (or driving a car). If you need more of an explanation for this, you really don’t know me at all.)) ‘ ‘ ‘text/javascript’>

Harper and I are currently reading Mockingjay together (although she’s currently around 30 pages ahead of me) to prepare for the movie release. I really need to pick up the pace, because I grabbed both Not That Kind of Girl and One Day from the library this afternoon. (Living so close to the library has been one of my favorite things about moving.)

Eighteen years ago this evening found Jeff and I on our first date. We ate Thai food and then went to the art museum to catch the St. Louis Film Festival’s showing of Shine. Afterwards, we drank coffee and I decided that this was the guy with whom I was supposed to hang out until death us do part. (The night before our first date found us at a Halloween happy hour with many co-workers, including the daughter of Susan B. Komen. (Don’t get me started.) Anyway, I eventually journeyed to the restroom where I apparently took too long to tuck my big bulky sweater into my jeans, because when I returned to the table, I found that everyone had left—except for Jeff. The two of us then drove 20 miles south to eat toast at a diner, but it didn’t count as a date because Thai + Art Museum > Beer + Toast.)

Tempe and I are knitting Leftie by Martina Behm. It’s an easy and fun knit, and mine is looking like this:

My dad’s tomato plants froze up last night which means it’s the time of year when I transform into Fitful Knitter.

(If you’re knitting something, let me know what it is. There’s a good chance that I’ll make one, too.)

I hope your Halloween was a good one and that your Saturday has been even better. I’ll see you tomorrow. ‘ ‘ ‘text/javascript’>

So, three days in a row must mean that not only am I going to throw my goat into the rodeo for NaBloPoMo, BUT, I’ve actually started early.

The girls were off school today, so we celebrated by driving 20 miles south to my doctor’s office, where I made the following announcement:

“I haven’t slept for more than one or two hours at a time in over a month, and sometimes when I wake up I’m making death claws with my hands.”

We talked for a bit (about Halloween and the weather!), he complimented my blood pressure (90/68!), I told him I take 10,000 steps each day (I did last week because a friend threw down a sparkling gauntlet, but this week not so much), and I walked away with a suggestion (to get my heart rate up to a 7/10 daily) and a bottle of Trazodone. And before you click your tongue and tell me about how terrible Trazodone is, please stop. STOP. First, because that clicking sound makes me so angry, and finally, because I’m impressionable and I don’t want to swallow a pill tonight thinking, “This is the pill that made ArizonaSportsFan24 want to die.” Instead, I will swallow that pill thinking, “This is the non-addictive pill with little to no side effects (except for that weird priapism thing) that will get me back on the road to wellness.” And in a few weeks I’ll feel great and will stop the pills. The End.

After the appointment, I took the girls to the mall because I was jonesing for some quick and easy coffee, Harper felt that she deserved hot chocolate, and Meredith was having visions of cinnamon sugar pretzel nuggets. Plus, we needed tights, and I wanted to find a pair of cheap and casual black boots. (Success. $12.)

In approximately 10 minutes we’ll be driving to the store for avocados, spinach, French bread, and bananas. And then I suppose I should start thinking about cutting a hole or four into a pumpkin. I’ve never been a fan of Halloween, mainly because hell is people coming to my door, regardless of their age. (Last year we put a cauldron full of candy outside with a sign that said, “Please take one or two.” Less than ten minutes later, the cauldron was empty because someone clearly couldn’t read.) Now that we’re in a subdivision with 34,239 kids, I have no idea what to expect.

This photo was taken exactly seven years ago.

Meredith was Dorothy from The Wizard of Oz, and Harper was Murray Wiggle.

This year, Meredith will be Hazel Grace Lancaster from The Fault in Our Stars, and Harper will be Glimmer, the career tribute from District One in the Hunger Games.

And here we go. ‘ ‘ ‘text/javascript’>

Me (on the phone with my mother): I am pleased to report that Dr. H had a cancellation and will be able to see me tomorrow morning at 9:00.

Mom: Why are you going to the doctor?

Me: The no sleep thing is driving me crazy, and something needs to be done.

Mom: This is the first I’ve heard of your nosebleeds!

Me: I’m not having nosebleeds!

Mom: Then why are you going to the doctor?

On a related note, I had a hearing test on Monday because I’m a little off and I feel like I’m either losing my hearing or everyone is starting to mumble around me. Please know that my eye doctor once told me that a normal person with my vision would not require glasses, but some people are especially sensitive to slight changes and glasses seem to help, regardless of how weak the prescription is.

Audiologist: I would give you an A+ on your hearing, but maybe you’re one of those sensitive people who are really thrown off by tiny changes.

(He then said something about ear wax, and I asked him to stop talking because: Ear Wax.)

Teavana’s “Spice of Life” tea is one of my very favorite things right now and I’ll certainly give NaBloPoMo a shot, but be aware that the entire month will find me wearing my Reticence is Forgiven shirt. ‘ ‘ ‘text/javascript’>

Well, would you look at that? I just took a three week break from Fluid Pudding without even realizing that I was taking a three week break! And the best news? The world kept spinning for (nearly) everyone.

Actually, I *did* manage to stop by here a few times and I found myself typing sentences about the washer and dryer we purchased a few weeks back and then I looked in the mirror and asked myself who I want to be and if singing songs about a top loader will get me there.

I haven’t slept for more than two hours at a time in over a month and it’s making me cranky and weird, and although All Women Are Beautiful Without Makeup, I’m choosing to use heavy-duty scar-covering spackle to reduce the appearance of the cavernous gray semi-circles under my eyes. Regarding the sleep thing, I’ve tried Melatonin. I’ve tried Magnesium. I’ve tried Xanax. I’ve tried exercise during the day and deep breathing in the evenings. The only thing that works for me is my meditation CD, and it works for only 53 minutes, because it is exactly 53 minutes long. Did I mention that we got a top loader? My jeans smell fresh!!!

Our 13th wedding anniversary sort of came and went because Jeff had to fly to New York on short notice.

I finished a cowl and then finished another cowl.

I scored some freelance and will be able to continue scoring freelance because I was hired by the group who provides services to the company for whom I was already providing freelance services. This means: Because I passed the background check, even more people in the world know that I have never been charged with a (serious) crime; and, I will no longer need help with figuring out taxes because everything I owe to this great nation of ours will be removed and distributed for me, Toby Keith.

Twelve days ago, we were able to hang out at a place that looked like this.

Last weekend I watched an amazing musical based on Bonnie and Clyde. I had my hearing checked on Monday. Jeff went to Topeka yesterday. I hit my goal weight at Weight Watchers this morning.

And now you’re all caught up, yet yearning for more… ‘ ‘ ‘text/javascript’>

This morning I walked into the kitchen and was presented with a flyer from Sears. (Please know that this post was not sponsored by Sears.)

Jeff: This weekend is the weekend I’ve been looking forward to for a very long time.

Me: I don’t understand what’s happening right now.

Jeff: Huge appliance sale. Washers and dryers. I’m thinking these might be good.

He then pointed to a front loading washer and its dryer partner, so I threw the flyer down and kissed Jeff in a way that only a woman with hopes of a new washer and dryer would understand. (Our current washer and dryer are 12 years old, and their most recent performance evaluations were not very positive.)

It has occurred to me that many people have very strong feelings when it comes to front loaders vs. top loaders, and one should probably be familiar and comfortable with oneself before making such a crucial decision.

Because I’m still waiting to hear if I’m able to continue doing freelance work, I have a little bit of time to explore my identity before deciding my washer style.

According to the Buzzfeed quizzes:
I’m attracted to boys who eat Froot Loops in the bathtub.
I am not a stoner.
I am Chow Mein.

You helped me with the slip cover. Do you have any words of wisdom regarding washers? (I know you do.) Wait. Before you tell me what we should choose, please know that I prefer lasagna to spaghetti, and my spirit Beanie Baby is Patti the Platypus. ‘ ‘ ‘text/javascript’>

Last week at around this time, my mom was being sewn up after spinal surgery. A few hours later everything went batty and she ended up in an intensive care unit, but five more days have passed since then and now she’s home and may be able to ditch her walker by next week.

Last week I had to submit 19 forms to a firm who will hopefully hire me so that I can continue to do exactly what I do right now, which is freelance editing from home. The company for which I’ve been doing the bulk of my work has decided to hire this firm to control their freelance population. (As I type this paragraph, someone out there is performing a background check to make sure I haven’t Squeaky Fromme’d anyone in the past ten years.) The 19 forms made me a cranky mess because “Why can’t I just keep rolling the way I’ve been rolling?” but deep down I know that things change. If for some reason it is decided that I’m not worth hiring, I’ll need to hit the streets to see if I can find another gig.

Last week I finished reading The Night Circus by Erin Morgenstern. I have a tricky time expressing just how much I loved this book, so I’ll just say this: Radiant and sparkly and warm and perfect. If you have a chance, try to score a copy of the audiobook along with a hard copy. Jim Dale is the perfect narrator.

This morning I joined Weight Watchers again, because now that it’s cooling off outside, I’m finding that the pants that fit me last October no longer do.

Weight Watchers Lady: Do you want today to be a fresh start or a continuation?

Me: I’m glad you asked that question, but I don’t understand what it means.

Weight Watchers Lady: Do you want today to be considered your first day, or do you want your booklet to reflect the nine and a half pounds you’ve gained since your most recent visit?

Me: Um, let’s go with Option Number One.

Please know that although Weight Watchers works for me (when I’m actually doing it), I don’t recommend it to anyone else. We’re all beautiful just the way we are. Radiant and sparkly and warm and perfect. (I’m going to need those pants to fit if I have to look for a job.)

The house is still great and it’s SweeTango season.

I’m participating in the Honey Cowl knitalong sponsored by the Lighthouse Buddies.

Finally, because you’re so helpful, our main couch is now wearing a slip.

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I own a 700 page book that was supposedly written by Martha Stewart and it contains nothing but helpful advice on how to clean and fix every single item in your house. EVERY SINGLE ITEM. (Except for maybe a Schnauzer.) Anyway, I’m a little confused because she has taught me how to handle an unruly avocado tree, but she will not even MENTION slip covers.

We have two couches. I guess one of them would be called a love seat, because it’s 2/3 the size of the big couch. What is the difference between a couch and a sofa? (What is the term for someone who falls two notches below plebeian? There I sit. On the Plebeian Sub-Notch-Two Couch.) Our couches were purchased eleven years ago, and they are looking rough. The cats have scratched them. The dogs have chewed on them. The girls have (probably) thrown up on them. (They have. I’m just trying to spare your feelings.) I have spilled coffee on them. (Also, salsa. More than once.)

What I would like to do is spend thirty dollars to extend the life of my couches by two years, and I think that can be accomplished with slip covers. BUT, because Martha Stewart doesn’t discuss them, I’m starting to wonder if I have any idea what I’m talking about.

Jeff mentioned that Martha Stewart doesn’t cover (no pun intended, really) slip covers in her book because she believes slip covers are déclassé. With that said, please know that I wear my makeup exactly the same way that I wore my makeup in 1985, which was the year during which I began to wear makeup. Old dogs and new single trick ponies and such…

What I need to know is this: Do you have a passionate opinion about slip covers? Will you share it with me?

Please know that I don’t want to start a slip cover war. I just need to know if, because I am completely unarmed with information, I am doomed to repeat the mistakes of my reclining ancestors.

Yesterday I spun in the house for the first time.

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Because the past few nights have been spent not sleeping well, I’m starting to think about a television and whether or not I need one of them in the room where I sleep. As anyone who knows me can tell you, I’m really great at falling asleep during television shows and movies. Something to consider.

Three months ago I would never peg myself as someone who would Google, “Talk to me about pergolas.” or “What’s that thing on top of a pergola called? Canopy? Awning?” or “Where can I get a pergola cover for ten bucks?” (There is no such pergola cover.) Also, “DIY pergola cover?!”

I finished my February Lady Sweater, and I finally blocked it on Friday. It’s still slightly wet, but I’m wearing it anyway.

I like the length, but I wish it was bigger around so I could wrap it a bit. BUT, I’m unwilling to compromise length for width, so it’ll do. (I’ve decided to NOT put buttons on the sweater because I sort of like how it looks without. SO, it will be a sweater with buttonholes, but nothing to fill them. It will be my metaphorical sweater.)

(For all of you knitters out there, my friends Tempe and Chrystal have started a video podcast. It’s called Lighthouse Buddies, and if you knit while you watch, it almost feels like you’re in the living room with them, although their living rooms are about 875 away from each other.)

I have registered to be a Girl Scout so that Harper and I can attend a troop meeting on Thursday evening. This will be Harper’s first run in the Girl Scout rodeo, and I’m not quite sure if I’ll laugh or cry when/if the word Camping is mentioned. (A friend of mine once gave me this luggage tag, and it really was the perfect gift.) I’ll keep you updated. ‘ ‘ ‘text/javascript’>