Fluid Pudding

Hello! It has been one hell of a group of nine days. Let me share them with you!

7/23 (Wednesday): We went to the bank and saw a bunch of really high numbers being thrown around. We signed a bunch of papers. I took a Xanax and started thinking a lot about prostitution along with other opportunities that wouldn’t necessarily interfere with my (currently fairly decent) freelance gig. HHhhhh. (And, no. I’m not going to sing songs about money. This is not the time, nor is it ever the place.)

7/24 (Thursday): I met a friend for lunch. During our visit, my mom took the girls to the mall. While at the mall, Mom fell down but managed to not spill her soda, so it didn’t seem very serious. HOWEVER, when you’re of a certain age and you fall down? It’s never really NOT serious. (I’m at that certain age. Please don’t think I’m calling my mother old. I’m nothing if not respectful at Fluid Pudding.)

7/25 (Friday): The only thing written on the calendar is Caramel. SO, it must have been a pretty good day. Actually, I remember most of that day was spent caulking and renewing some grout and cleaning up for our house inspection and making a caramel pie.

7/26 (Saturday): The House Inspection. It went from noon until two, and we were told to not be here. SO, Jeff took MC to an appointment, and Harper and I went to our favorite rescue agency’s adoption event where we fell in love with a cat named Uno. (It’s not yet time for another cat. Definitely not. With that said, I *just* got the call that Sid’s ashes are in, and I’ve bookmarked this as something to think about down the road.)

7/27 (Sunday): A friend told me that good things happen for our family because we emit goodness. She mentioned that people who live negatively tend to have a lot of negative experiences to sort of “solidify” the way they exist. It made complete sense, but also served as weird brain food for the next four days as some not so great stuff went down. (Please know that I know some really great people who have had a crappy year so far. I’ve been thinking a lot about my friend’s words.)

7/28 (Monday): Harper started horse camp, Meredith received her middle school schedule and was HORRIBLY disappointed (more on that later), and my mom snapped her rib while closing a drawer. Worst of all, she snapped the rib late at night, meaning we were at the ER until nearly 2:00 in the morning. BUT, while there, I remembered how much I LOVE the energy of a hospital. SO, it was a terrible night, but I’m now inspired to become a brain surgeon. (Or an administrative assistant.)

7/29 (Tuesday): Because Meredith was so upset about her schedule, I called the new school to ask why she didn’t get any of the classes she wanted. Bear with me: They said she didn’t get into the gifted program because they never received the paperwork from our current school. They said she didn’t get into Challenge Math because they never received her test scores from our current school. Personally, I know that our current school is on top of things, so I made three phone calls, and within three hours I was able to hand deliver all of the necessary forms to the new school. Meredith was immediately accepted into both the gifted program and the Challenge Math class. (If you’re in Challenge Math, you get to take Pre-Algebra in 7th grade. Meredith is in love with the idea of Pre-Algebra. I really lucked out in the kid department.)

7/30 (Wednesday): Ramona (our other cat, who is 6), has been sneezing and acting depressed. I took her in to the cat clinic where she was diagnosed with an infection. A few hours later, they called to tell me that I need to bring her back in right away, because her blood work indicated some kidney issues that require immediate attention. (I know. I know! Damnit. (You know it’s bad when I start cursing around here.)) They gave her IV fluids and antibiotics, and kept her overnight to the tune of many hundreds of dollars. As I fretted to Jeff (about prostitution, etc.), we received the inspection report on our current house. The inspector on Saturday was very thorough, and we were pretty shocked by the report. Long story short: We’ve got some stuff to fix. Some of it involves digging holes in the yard. Some of it involves electricity. None of it involves pre-algebra, unless pre-algebra has something to do with chimneys. (Strange but true: After reading the entire report, the thing that stood out as being the most important to me was the chimney thing. Not because of fires, but because of Santa. I need to live in a place where it’s Christmas every day and prostitution is just a funny word that has no meaning.)

7/31 (Today! Hello there!): It was Harper’s final day of horse camp, and she was able to ride Opie. (Opie was her favorite horse this week.) The vet called to say that Ramona still isn’t doing well, but he believes she’ll be more comfortable at home. (I picked her up after paying many more hundreds of dollars. She’ll have to go back early next week for more IV treatments and some more blood work. La la la la laaaaaah. “You know my mind is made up, so put away your makeup!”) Meredith had braces put on her bottom teeth. We’re putting Harper’s braces off for six months because I said so, that’s why.

Tomorrow will be our occupancy inspection, during which a man named Bob will come over and tell us the things that we absolutely must fix to make our house safe. After that, we’ll look at our budget and fix everything else that we can. Moving is so much harder than anyone thinks. Does Jon Stewart deal with this sort of stuff when he moves? Does Ira Glass? Do brain surgeons?

By the way, prostitution is never funny. It’s not! And I know that. And if I had the energy, I would try to insert some crisis hotline information right here. (Isn’t it sad that I already know someone is going to yell at me about prostitutes? I once got a really great curry recipe off of the internet. I also got a really spooky death threat that involved a trailer door and a baby head. It all evens out, mostly.)

Won’t you be glad when we get settled at the new house and I can invite you over for burritos and doughnuts? That’s going to be a really great day. ‘ ‘ ‘text/javascript’>

This morning I took the girls to register at their new schools. Afterwards, we went to a tiny place that serves nothing but cookies.

DING! (That was the sound of us walking into the cookie place and activating the welcome bell.)

Cookie Guy: Well, hello there! Long time no see!

Me (to myself): What does he mean? We’ve been here a few times, but I would hardly call us regulars at the cookie place!

Me (out loud): Ha! I know!

Cookie Guy: I haven’t seen the girls in ages!

Me (to myself): I’m not sure what’s happening right now.

Me (knowing that I tend to sometimes say too much when I speak out loud): WELL, you’re about to see A LOT MORE OF US, because we just bought a house not far from here!

Cookie Guy: Where did you live before?

And I told him.

Cookie Guy: Where’s the new place?

And I told him.

And then the girls each ordered a chocolate chip cookie and I reluctantly ordered a snickerdoodle (I’ve spent the past 22 days eating things that do NOT contain flour. BUT: Snickerdoodle!), and we sat and ate as Primus was blaring in the kitchen. All of this to say: I don’t care if this guy thinks he knows us. How great is it to have an enthusiastic acquaintance who peddles cookies to the tune of Tommy the Cat?!

(I know!)

When I was in the eighth grade, I was enrolled in a class during which the students took turns reading the newspaper in the evening and then summarizing three current events during the next day’s meeting time. Because it also involved sharing personal opinions on the particular stories we chose, I was always very careful when making my selections. (I didn’t care much that Ronald Reagan was seeking a second term, but I was all over the story about the woman who sued a hospital for not letting her starve to death.) Anyway, I share stories here at Fluid Pudding for two reasons. First, it sort of serves as a record of my family’s adventures. (It actually came in handy quite a few times over the past few months when we were trying to remember when we got the new front door or when we replaced the roof.) Secondly, it’s a way to keep in touch with you. (I know I don’t really *know* a lot of you, but it feels like I do, and I like that feeling.)

Anyway, I know the house stuff can be boring and the pet stuff can be sad (mainly when the pets die), but all of that is part of life and I really have no idea where I’m going with this, other than: Thank you for your patience as I document Where We Are Right Now. You know we bought a house. We had it inspected last week, and the inspector found quite a few things that needed to be fixed. Because we’re firm believers of not being too pushy, we’re asking the sellers to fix only three things: Change the bad light bulb over the tub because it’s a weird bulb and I know myself well enough to know that I won’t take time to research weird bulbs, change the breaker wires to the correct wattage because I don’t want the house to burn down, and get the radon out of the house because I can’t be bothered with cancer. We haven’t yet heard back from them. So we wait.

In the meantime, we currently have a contract on OUR house, and I couldn’t be happier. (We adore the buyers and we love the reason why they want our house.) The Coming Soon sign in our front yard will be changed to an Under Contract sign tomorrow morning, and it’s so weird to think that one month from today will find us waking up in our new house. (You know, if the radon thing gets cleared up. AND THE LIGHT BULB.) ((I wonder how many people out there think I’m a flake.)) ‘ ‘ ‘text/javascript’>

If you saw my most recent post, you know that our family lost the greatest cat last week. (Please don’t take this opportunity to tell me that YOUR cat is the greatest cat. I used to eat feta cheese and chocolate chips mixed up in a bowl. You probably think that sounds terrible. AND, you’re WRONG, but it just goes to show that we all have individual differences and that’s why the world is such an interesting place.)

This is Sidney in 2007 showing off her greatest quality: Patience.

(Meredith was proud to have done her own hair that day. With lotion.)

If you need to know more about Sid, and you DO because she really was the greatest cat, you can go here to read about the time when Harper pierced her ear with a hole punch.

You can go here to see what happened when we considered making chili out of her and serving it to our neighbors.

You can go here to see her Bono impression.

Finally, here she is on the day she accepted Ramona Quimby as her sister.

I know that 47% of you are rolling your eyes and saying things like, “It was JUST a CAT!” Please know that if you’re part of that 47%, you’re on very thin ice right now, Sister. (That’s what I say to the girls when they’re on thin ice. It’s not very effective.) Anyway, I was right there with her at the end, and we spent quite a bit of time talking about the good old days: Nashville and meeting Jeff and getting married and moving back to St. Louis and meeting Meredith and Harper and Ramona for the first time. I took photos because I was feeling helpless and I knew that I wanted to remember when her life was great, but I also wanted to remember her final day with me.

I cried a lot. I had no idea that the whole process would go as quickly as it did. I had a hard time driving home, and it didn’t get any easier when this shuffled onto my iPod.

Nearly 72 hours have passed and I’m getting ready to eat Chipotle and as I type this message to you, Meredith’s friend is telling her how horrible our new school is and that it’s full of “stuck-up” people and that the school has “lots of financial problems” and all I can do is laugh and hope that the next month goes by fairly quickly, and that all transitions are smooth for everyone who is transitioning. And that includes you, unless you’re part of that 47% up there. (Thin ice doesn’t thicken in my world for at least four hours.) ‘ ‘ ‘text/javascript’>

Sidney Lynn Reiner Downing, 5/1/1999 – 7/17/2014

(Comments are off, because the stuff about the rainbow bridge is nice and all, but I really can’t handle anything like that right now.)

‘ ‘ ‘text/javascript’>

I could waste ten minutes of your time to tell you a story about open houses and contracts and barrels and negotiations, but I know that if you’re anything like me, you’re losing patience with this whole The Puddings Are Moving saga.

I’ll just say this: We found a house. As of this morning, all paperwork has been signed. We move in on August 20th.

So, we now have a house and the girls will have their own rooms, but they’ll be switching schools and we still need to sell THIS house and my cat has lost half of her body weight since January. In other words: Ups and Downs. BUT, I feel good knowing that Christmas will be spent in a new town, and the new town is less than 30 minutes away from our current town. (I’ll have lab results on Sid sometime tomorrow. She’s 15. I’m nervous.)

I don’t know how much you want to know. Here is our new kitchen.

I love that it’s green because my “Make Breakfast, Not War” print is held in a green frame, and it’s one of my very favorite things.

This is Sidney.

She became my roommate shortly after I moved to Nashville in 1999. She showed up as a stray at a friend’s house, and as soon as I saw her I knew we would be pals. I took her to the vet, and she ended up having to live at the animal hospital for over a month because of parasites and severe malnourishment. I visited her nearly every evening, and even though she was all hooked up to IVs and had no idea who I was, I think she appreciated the gesture. When I was finally able to bring her back to my apartment, I realized that I was very much allergic to her. (She’s definitely worth the allegy medication.) Anyway, she has been around for our wedding, the move back to St. Louis, the move from our city apartment into the house, and the birth of both kids. I’m really hoping she gets to see the green kitchen.

And now we clean. Our realtor is visiting us tomorrow to see if we’re ready to be put on the market.

This is my theme in so many ways right now.

Except for the drug part. No drugs.
No bread, either!
(I know.) ‘ ‘ ‘text/javascript’>

This morning I made plans to meet a friend for coffee after dropping the girls off at their Music, Art, and Drama camp. Because the girls and I arrived at camp early, I also arrived early to the coffee place where I was super excited to find outside seating. (I typically don’t do outside. BUT, with temperatures hovering in the low 70s, it felt like a fine idea.)

I ran inside (figuratively, obviously), grabbed an almond milk latte (my current favorite because: No Dairy), and then returned outside to choose a seat.

I went with this one.

Shortly after I sat down, a man with one leg sat at the table next to mine. I do feel weird referring to him as a man with one leg, but I didn’t hear him speak or see what he was eating, and he was with a friend so there was no real wiggle room for a casual Good Morning. (He sat facing my back, as most people tend to do (You other brothers can’t deny.), so it wasn’t long before he transformed into Fellow Outside Sitter.) I know that every person is so much more than a tag like Crazy Underpants Lady or Tattooed Neck Guy. Please know that I know that. (I’m sure I’ve been referred to as Old Bald Mom or Bad Eye Contact Weirdo Who Always Cancels on Plans. It’s fine.)

Anyway, one thing I love about this particular coffee place is the fact that the outside seating area is filled with polite little birds. Some people feed them. Some don’t. The birds will come up and look at you, and if you don’t toss a bagel crumb in their direction, they’ll scamper off to another table. (Sometimes birds scamper.) If you feed them? They’ll stay, until you STOP feeding them. Do I need to keep explaining this? I have a funny feeling that you already know how birds do. Birds have been behaving this way for YEARS.

One particular little bird was little. (And because I used the word Little twice in that sentence, you’re probably gathering that he was abnormally small. You are correct.) He bounced up to my table and because he was fluffy and could use only one of his legs, I ALMOST ran (figuratively) back inside to buy him a piece of toast. (Luckily, another man two tables over had more than enough bread crumbs for the birds, and it didn’t take long for Fluffy Little Guy to catch on to where the crumbs were coming from, or from where the crumbs were coming (if prepositional rules are to be followed). However, because this tiny little bird had a flat tire, I kept my eye on him. Because THAT’S WHAT A MOTHER DOES.

At around 9:00, my friend arrived. (For the sake of this story, let’s call her Alison. We reconnected nearly 15 months ago, and you can read about that here if you’re kicking back just wanting to read stuff. It’s a good story.) We sat and talked about not eating flour and how she’s exercising and I’m NOT exercising and family stuff and old times and as we talked, my little friend the little fluffy bird stopped by.

Me: Oh! That’s my favorite little bird. He’s just so fluffy! He looks like a baby. I love him and his sad little leg.

Alison: Is he using his leg at all?

Me: No. I wonder if he was attacked by a cat.

Alison (looking closely at my tiny fluffy bird friend): DOES HE EVEN *HAVE* A LEG?!

With that, we heard the scraping of a chair behind us. It was Man With One Leg. He and his friend had packed up their stuff and were leaving.

Alison and I immediately did that thing called Crazy Big-Eyed Lady.

It looks a little like this:

(That was the face I made a few years back during Meredith’s spelling bee finals. If you’re still in the mood to hang out with me, the story is here.)

I don’t think the man heard us. I really truly do not think he did. (Alison didn’t even REALIZE that Plaid Shirt Guy was the Man With One Leg until he got up to leave with his friend. See? Your Nutty Owl Dress Lady might be my Twinkling Biscotti Friend! The world is a magical place. So many different colors!)

After the feelings of mortification wore off, I started to giggle. (I giggle at funerals, too. It’s a nervous thing.) Pretty soon I was laugh-crying so hard that I had to run (literally this time) to the bathroom to wipe the (not so waterproof after all) mascara from my cheeks.

After composing ourselves, we walked down the road to the farmers market where I admired the heck out of a cobbler. (He was taking a break from mending shoes. HA HA HA! It was really a peach cobbler! I love words!)

Enjoy your weekend. You are, and always will be, my Amazing Internet Friends (even if you double as People Who Smell Like Goat Cheese). ‘ ‘ ‘text/javascript’>

It has been entirely too long since I’ve checked in over here. The girls have been participating in a Music, Art, and Drama camp at a friend’s church, meaning they’re busy during the hours of 8:30 and noon each day. I’ve taken on a freelance project that has provided me with more work in the past month than I’ve seen in the past year.

Also, the Tour de Fleece kicked off again.

This is my current fiber. It’s dyed by Bee Mice Elf, but I can’t share the fiber type because I’m currently unable to locate the label. If you’re interested in the process details, I’m spinning it from one big four ounce braid and will chain ply it next week to transform it into a 3-ply striped yarn.

And then I’m going to spin what you want me to spin.

Option #1: Schmutzie Sunshine

It’s an 80/20 Merino/Tussah Silk blend hand dyed by Wool Gatherings, and named by me for Schmutzie. I think it’s begging to be lofty and chunky. Maybe a cowl? Maybe a pair of fingerless mitts?

 

Option #2: Joseph’s Coat

It’s a 50/50 Bombyx Silk/Fine Merino blend hand dyed by Lisa Souza. (The photo doesn’t show just how shiny it is!) I think this wants to be a medium weight. I talked to Lisa when I bought it, and she said that it looks best when you just grab parts of it and spin it without any sort of plan. So that is my plan. No plan. Except: Gloves or a Hat.

VOTING IS OPEN!!!

 

EDITED TO ADD: We have reached our maximum voting capacity! (I had no idea there WAS such a thing!) Anyway, Schmutzie’s Sunshine won with 54% of the votes! Thanks to all who participated!

(Please know that I’m deliberately avoiding talking about the house thing. At 5:00 last night I announced that I am done with the process of looking at houses.)

((We actually put a contract on a house last week, and then the whole situation got flaky and weird, so we tiptoed out of the house and back into the game.))

(((Also, I’m no longer eating bread because it’s always something with me and the eating, isn’t it?!))) ‘ ‘ ‘text/javascript’>

That house? The one with the wall of windows and the nice kitchen? That is not our house. The good news? It’s not our house because we don’t want it to be our house. The first time we saw it, it was lovely. The second time? It was pretty terrible with its dirty cracks and unfinished business. (It went from Iggy Pop to Iggy Azalea, and even I don’t know what I’m talking about!)

This house thing is really not a thing at all. Something good will happen. It nearly always does. Thus it is, and so it goes.

I finished a pair of socks.

Also, I started a new clean eating adventure yesterday. My only rules are No Bread and No Processed Foods. I’ve screwed up only once, and if you know me at all, you know that one screw-up in 36 hours is pretty much a victory.

This is my next adventure:

I started this sock on November 4, 2008 at 5:30 in the morning as I sat on the ground in the dark and waited for my polling place to open so I could vote for MY CANDIDATE OF CHOICE! (You know who I’m talking about.) Anyway, after working on it for a day or so, I shifted focus because there was cornbread (also known as My Nemesis) to be eaten.

What else?

I’ll tell you what else.

Henry loves his bunny.

We’re going to look at two more houses on Thursday night. If one of them ends up working, I’ll definitely let you know.

That’s what I do around here. ‘ ‘ ‘text/javascript’>

Welcome back to “Angela Goes On and On About Moving But Never Actually Moves!”

Do you remember two and half months ago when I started singing songs about falling in love with a house? Yep. Well, that wasn’t our house. (It was MY house, but it wasn’t my FAMILY’S house. The Downing Rule? It takes four yeses, but only one no. (Yeses doesn’t LOOK correct, but it is. I looked it up. Someone needs to endorse my fact checking skills on LinkedIn!!!))

The last time you and I hung out, I was talking about seeing three houses on Saturday. We actually ended up seeing FOUR houses, and two of them were Fast Nos. (You really do think there should be an apostrophe in that Nos, don’t you? I know!) One of the Yes houses was super nice and empty (move-in ready!), but had no privacy in the back yard. (I need privacy in my back yard, and that sounds dirty to some of you, but it’s not.)

The other Yes house? Despite the cruddy paint job and the fact that it needs a bit of work that we don’t know how to do (PROPERTY BROTHERS!), we quickly fell in love with it. And now, because I like to share everything with you, I’m going to show you WHY we fell in love with it.

This is what’s going on in the kitchen.

It needs a microwave above the stove, but we’ll cross that bridge when it’s time. (It’s time.)

Please know that although I read The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo, meaning I’m WELL AWARE of what’s possible on the internet, I’m trusting that you won’t run these photos through a special real estate filter to see exactly where the house is located so you can steal it from under our noses! I TRUST YOU! Anyway, check out that back splash. (Is it weird that I wish the appliances were black? When I’m 50, I’ll consider replacing them, as I hereby proclaim 50 to be The Year of Black Appliances. (Or maybe BLUE! It WILL be 2020! We’ll probably be riding around in hovering wagons by then! Imagine the possibilities! STAINLESS STEEL!!!))

Anyway, do you see all of that natural light at the end of the photo? That natural light is a result of this.

That staircase is lovely, and is up against a wall of windows. If we move into this house, I promise to hire a choir of children who will stand on the stairs during the first snowfall to sing Silent Night in German while holding tiny (non-drip) candles.

Wait. I just found the photo of the wall of windows. This is the back of the house.

I know I don’t deserve a house that looks like this. I’m absolutely amazed that it’s sort of in our price range and that the neighbors seem like nice people and that there is a lot of diversity in the subdivision. (All of these things are more important to me than how many bathrooms are available and if the garage holds one car or two. I want the girls to grow up around good people who don’t look just like us.)

This might be our house. (It also might not be. You know I’ll keep you updated.) ‘ ‘ ‘text/javascript’>

I’ve been cleaning out our dining room closet because the dining room is being sold as a bedroom and no one keeps weird tablecloths and expired cleaning products in their bedroom closet. (I guess I can’t really speak for No One. All I can say is that the imaginary toddler who will be residing in our dining room (on a princess bed!) will not have tablecloths and chemicals in her closet. (I’ve named the imaginary toddler Winnie.))

Yesterday I found the Christmas cards we received in 2004. It was VERY difficult to decide which ones to recycle. In the end, I kept only the cards from friends and family members who are no longer with us, as well as a card from Stew because I have a funny feeling it may be worth a million dollars some day. We won’t sell it for a million, but it will be nice knowing that we have a Christmas card that can pay the girls’ way through college and beyond.

This is Stew. (This song could have been written about me if my life in the early 90s was slightly exaggerated and deemed worthy of a song.)

Anyway, I revisited cards from many of you, and: Merry Christmas 2004. Some of you aren’t married anymore. Some of you no longer have hair. A lot can happen in a decade. A lot can happen in a DAY!

(I also found a size 2 thong with tags still attached. It was in a ceramic box that said, “Been looking for love, and then came you.”)

I found the card I made for Jeff in August of 2002.

I quickly posted it onto Facebook, and a few people didn’t notice that it was from 2002, and I received a congratulatory e-mail, and it felt really weird, considering I had a hysterectomy six weeks ago. At the same time, I’ll never again be congratulated for growing an actual baby, so one last spin wasn’t necessarily a bad thing.

The inside of our house has been painted and we have new carpeting in the basement. We’ve been filling the driveway with stuff we no longer want and we’ve watched people pull up and dig through our old stuff, sometimes filling their cars with things like tiny plastic chairs and yard polo sets. (Last night a man pulled up and took Jeff’s old home brew kit along with some unused beer bottles. Jeff talked to him about where to find supplies, and BAM! There’s a new beer brewer in town, and his name is John.) ((Have I mentioned that I haven’t had a drink since February 6th? (I probably have six lady drinks per year. Now that I’ve made the personal connection between alcohol and migraines, my red-faced days are over.)))

Anyway. I’m overwhelmed. We have so much stuff and nowhere to put it. I spend the days moving things from place to place and Sisyphus comes to mind.

I just wanted to check in. I hope your weekend is a good one. ‘ ‘ ‘text/javascript’>