Leap it like a leaper leaps!

Today I made some Leap Day pinto beans in the pressure cooker for our Leap Day taco salad and I took a Leap Day walk before I demanded some Leap Day satisfaction at the groomer.

I then cast on a Leap Day hat.
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I realize that NaBloPoLenta hasn’t been a thrilling adventure. I have a project that has prevented me from leaving the house. But! Wait! Sometime in the next week or so I’ll be making a spray for my yoga mat and hosting a giveaway! (I’m sometimes contacted by companies who want me to give away weird things that I would never use. Last week I was contacted by a company that jazzes me. It’s going to be good.) ‘ ‘ ‘text/javascript’>

It should be the final day in February, but it’s not!

Today I met a friend for walking and lunch and praline lattes at a place that looks exactly like this:
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While there, we pulled out some coloring books and did a little of this:
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As I was shooting breezes, Jeff was walking down the street to an estate sale, where he scored this for a dollar:
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Also, I spun, I did yoga, I picked up sticks and branches in the front yard, and I smelled like a bowl of Fruity Pebbles. I almost feel like life is MC Honky-ing me today…


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The Day I Almost Forgot NaBloPoLenta

It’s 9:30 and I was already in bed.
(I know.)

This morning I picked up doughnuts for Harper and her friend.
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I then made out with Henry.
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Afterwards, I counted my orchids. (Five.)
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In three minutes I’ll be back upstairs reading my book.
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Also, I practiced yoga, I chose a hat to knit, I finished a freelance project, and I supported my Always Smell Good habit by purchasing something that supposedly helps you break habits so I really have no idea what’s going to happen tomorrow. ‘ ‘ ‘text/javascript’>

About the Pudding, Part 2

26. I’m a much happier person when I’m not eating a bunch of buttered Ritz crackers for lunch. (Buttered Ritz crackers are my go-to stress food.)

27. Our television is on more often than it’s off, but I can’t name three shows that I watch with any sort of regularity.

28. I know all of the words to the Beastie Boys “Licensed to Ill” album.

29. My perfect day would involve snow, Mary Janes, veggie sushi, a silk knitting project,  The Night Circus audiobook, and a caramel macchiato with extra caramel.

30. I moisturize my face at night with oil. I’ve used olive oil, jojoba oil, and most recently a blend that Tempe created of grapeseed and evening primrose oils.

31. After spending years actively searching out some sort of exercise that I might enjoy, I started practicing yoga on January 3, 2016. I’m hooked.

32. I own the greatest punch bowl ever. It has never been used. It is so hip and lovely that it scares the crap out of me.

33. I used to have a birthmark on my leg that looked exactly like Africa. It disappeared and I have no idea where it went.

34. The second best decision I made to improve my health was having a hysterectomy in May of 2014. Everything is gone except for Lefty the Ovary.

35. The best decision I made to improve my health was signing on to work with Kathy in May of 2015. Food and I are no longer in a complicated relationship and that might sound weird to you, but it sounds crazy glorious to me.

36. I often ask myself what Amélie would do.

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Crunchy on the outside and soft on the inside. We’re not so different, Biscotti.

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I have finally found my volunteer gig at the new school.

When you say Coffee Cart, I say “I’ll send in homemade biscotti.”

Homemade biscotti requires no eye contact. No small talk. No chance of spilling something or falling down.

Homemade biscotti gives me face time without Face Time.

Because of that, homemade biscotti is Perfection.

Edited to add:
Because it came up on Facebook…
CHOCOLATE CHIP BISCOTTI
2 cups all-purpose flour
1 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp salt
3 T mini chocolate chips
1 cup sugar
2 large eggs
1 T canola oil
1 tsp vanilla extract (I use almond instead)

1. Heat oven to 325. Spray a large baking sheet with cooking spray.
2. In a medium bowl whisk flour, baking powder, and salt until combined. Stir in chocolate chips and set aside.
3. With electric mixer beat sugar, eggs, oil, and vanilla until frothy; about 2 minutes. Make a well in the center of the dry ingredients and pour in egg mixture. Stir until just moistened and dough forms. Shape the dough into a 13 by 3 inch log on the baking sheet.
4. Bake log 30 minutes and set aside for 10 minutes to cool. Reduce oven temp to 300 degrees.
5. Cut warm log crosswise on a slight diagonal into 1/2 inch slices. Stand slices about an inch apart on baking sheet and return to oven for 12 minutes. The centers will be soft, but biscotti will be crisp when cooled. ‘ ‘ ‘text/javascript’>

He’s a good kid.

School was canceled early this morning because the northern portion of our district had snowy roads. Our roads were completely clear by 9:00, which meant this guy and I were able to keep our 10:50 vet appointment.

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When we arrived, Graham popped out of his crate and immediately began rubbing himself all over everyone in the room which caused the vet tech to drop everything in order to organize a Graham Cracker Fan Club. (Graham is definitely a charmer.)

Final diagnosis? Colitis and what may or may not be (but probably is) ringworm. And that means the weird rash on my neck is also ringworm. And it’s almost like I’m trying to turn you away by telling you a foot story one day and a ringworm story the next. God only knows what I’ll show you tomorrow.

Graham is no longer allowed to eat Greenies, and he and I are now sharing a bottle of topical medication along with a set of nail clippers and my pillow. It won’t be long before he starts wearing my clothes, and now that I typed that out loud I have to wonder if he is the one who misplaced my Barack O’Llama pajama pants. ‘ ‘ ‘text/javascript’>

Love Toe. Never meant to be.

Last night Tempe and I hit the streets for Mediterranean food. (I’ve had February falafels for the past two years, and I can’t let 2016 bump my streak.) Afterwards, we jumped over to the mall because off-season pedicures are never a bad idea.

The pedicure place was being manned by a woman and a boy child. The woman filled a tub for Tempe. Boy Child filled my tub. Tempe chose a bright green sparkly polish because she’s edgy and brave. I went with a pearlized white because I’m really stressed out about the election, you guys.

I hate talking about feet, so let’s step this up a bit.

Boy Child (weirding me out by massaging my feet after being reprimanded by the woman for not giving me my money’s worth, when I was totally fine without any sort of creepy foot massage): SomethingSomethingBigToe?

Me: I’m sorry?

Boy Child: SomethingSomethingBigToe?

Me: No, no, no.

Boy Child gets up and walks away.

Me: What did he say?

Tempe: I don’t know, but I think he’s mad at you for having such hairy legs.

Me: Ack!

Boy Child then returned, applied the pearlized white, and then grabbed a black brush and started painting a stripe on my left big toe and DEAR LORD I know this is a story about a pedicure but I really do hate talking about my feet and he just kept painting with the black and then he grabbed opaque white and started drawing something and Tempe and I kept making hilarious and frightened eye contact because What In The Hell Is Happening Right Now? I clearly said No to SomethingSomethingBigToe!

Boy Child: You like it?

Me: Um, YES!

Boy Child: I’ll do the other one.

Me: No. NO! I really think I just want to keep it on one side. Asymmetry!

Boy Child: You don’t like it.

Me: I do! I do!

Before leaving the pedicure place, I purchased a bottle of the pearlized white because that’s what you do when you’ve been given an unexpected sloppy love toe that will need fairly immediate removal and reworking.

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(Yes. That is a gigantic photo of my love toe. I cropped it and blew it up and filtered the heck out of it so it didn’t scream TOE! because that’s really not who I am, you know? That’s not who I am at all.) ‘ ‘ ‘text/javascript’>

I sort of love that we’re living in a Gilmore Girls episode, but this isn’t the one I would choose.

Before we adopted Graham and Chip, we filled the house with cat stuff and were totally excited to have feline buddies under the roof again.

Now that a few months have passed, I’m Googling phrases like “my cats attack me all night long” and “I won’t declaw but something has to be done.” When I got up this morning I had blood dripping from the left side of my face and dried blood inside my left ear. (This happens nearly every day. Chip likes to wake me up by slapping me in the face, which is something I would never tolerate from anyone else, yet I tolerate it from my cat son.) My ankles are no longer ankles. They are cat attack scabs.

The cats were kept in cages during their stay at the college and before that they were in a cat hoarding situation. In other words, it hasn’t been easy for them.

I love the cats. I love the cats. I love the cats. (I do love the cats.)

I really need to figure something out. (I won’t have them declawed.)

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Just a bit more like a pretzel.

Today marked 50 days in a row of yoga.

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Going from 0 to 50 has taken me from falling over when I try to balance on one foot to being able to do what I’m doing in the photo and it’s certainly not a huge deal in the story of a life well lived, but it may help me postpone the breaking of a hip before it’s my time to break a hip.

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Saturday!

1. Got up at 830ish.

2. Drank coffee.

3. Took dried pinto beans and threw them into the pressure cooker. 40 minutes later? PERFECT BEANS!

4. Ate beans.

5. Ate more beans. With apples.

6. Worked on freelance.

7. Folded laundry.

8. Drank coffee.

9. Beans!

10. Walked around the neighborhood with Jeff.

11. Sat down with a book. Fell asleep.

12. Went out for burritos and to the mall.

13. Remembered NaBloPoLenta.

14. Still ahead: Throw sheets and blankets into the dryer because I’m still trying to shake my crazy neck fungus! (I feel very pretty.) Print out my reading for church tomorrow! (It’s a long one, and because it’s a Psalm (27), I may try to sing it.)

15. If the cats attack at 2:00 and I do the whole “can’t get back to sleep” thing: Learn Hebrew. ‘ ‘ ‘text/javascript’>