As you know, I picked my glasses up last Tuesday. Everything was fine until last Friday when I noticed that the frames were embedding themselves into the back of the left side of my skull. I went back to the glasses shop, where the woman who originally helped me choose the frames adjusted them for me. Excellent.
Over the weekend, I noticed that I was spending a lot of time sticking my middle finger up to push the glasses to the top of my nose. Also, the At Rest position for the frames was super crooked. I told myself that everything requires adjustment, and because the glasses had already taken their turn, perhaps it was my level of What I Can Accept that needed a bit of tweaking.
I lived with the crooked slippy glasses for four days before I couldn’t stand it anymore. This morning I went back to the store, where the same woman was working.
Me: You know, I don’t want you to think that I’m going to be The Lady Who Needs Constant Adjustments.
Nice Glasses Shop Lady (NGSL): No! You’re fine. I just adjusted mine this morning. Plastic frames move around!
Me: Pretty soon you’ll make a drinking game out of me showing up here. Ah! Here she is AGAIN! For the third time today! I’m so wasted!!!
NGSL: Really. Don’t hesitate to come in.
She adjusted the glasses, placed them onto my head, made sure they weren’t loose or crooked, and sent me on my way.
With a bounce in my step (you know how I am!), I walked out to the car, pressed the unlock button on my key thing, reached for the handle, and—not realizing just how robust I can be on Wednesdays—yanked the door right into the side of my head.
Me (alone on the parking lot, wearing tan corduroy pants and feeling red-faced): Oh! Ha! Okay then! That hurt!
Because I had scored a prime parking spot outside of the glasses shop, and because I had been the only customer in the store, there is a 28% chance that the NGSL had seen the entire parking lot mishap. (The good news? I am not built, nor do I move in a manner that stirs up that whole “Watch me as I walk away” sort of action. This fact mostly works to my advantage.) Anyway, I will be purchasing an eyeglass repair kit later this afternoon. (I’ve already watched three YouTube videos showing me how to adjust my frames, meaning I’m now 100% qualified to perform this task. (I also watched a video on appendectomy! This may come in handy if I need to score extra cash during the holiday season. My bathtub is very clean.) Similarly, I watched a video telling me how important it is to not skimp on makeup when you are a wearer of glasses. Eyes? Lined. You can thank me later.)