August 2011 : Page 2 of 2 : Fluid Pudding

Why do I need 24 smiley stickers?!

I just purchased one of those 18-Month Mom Planners. I really wish there would have been a better selection of planners, but when you’re shopping at a big cruddy store that’s going out of business soon, you sort of get what you get. Anyway, my planner came with hundreds of goofy little stickers and spaces for meal ideas and perforated blank grocery list areas where I normally write things like “Thursday. No eodpm.” instead of “Lentils. Almonds. Peaches.” and then I stare at eodpm and wonder what I meant and then a few days later I get a phone call confirming my tubal ligation and reminding me of No Eating Or Drinking Past Midnight, and suddenly the world makes sense again.

This week’s two-page calendar spread is completely full. It hasn’t been like that for quite some time, and we’re a bit bummed because this means No Pajama Days. Today’s box says “Lydia. Checks. Groceries. Pencils.” and none of those things sound like fun, so I believe I’ll also add in a yogoluv or a Haircut for Girls.

I’m pleased to announce that I delivered another batch of cake balls over the weekend!

The blues are yellow cake with chocolate icing, and the whites are cherry chip cake with cherry icing. I really loved them, because they reminded me of one of my favorite ever sock yarns.

I *still* haven’t made socks out of that yarn. It’s just too pretty. I was able to spend a few hours knitting with friends over the weekend, and this shawl (which seems like more of a scarf than a shawl, but who am I?) became the topic of discussion. Perhaps some of my prettier sock yarns can become Melody’s Shawls…

Like this one.

Or this one.

Speaking of neckwear, Meredith knitted a fabulous cowl for Scout.

When it’s back to school season, a puppy needs a scarf like a vegetarian needs a juicy hamburger. BUT, when January rolls around? Scout will be thanking Meredith for her thoughtfulness. (And I’ll still be avoiding those juicy hamburgers.)
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I’ve got friends in low places.

I know I’ve gone on about this before.

But seriously. I had to share this with you.

I wasn’t sure how to respond this morning when my feminine protection suggested I go play.

“I’ve got your back,” said the tampon, “Really. Go play.”

“Well, okay then!” I replied as I pumped my fist into the air, which I often do during That Time of The Month. (I normally follow that exuberant fist pump with a melodramatic cry on the bathroom floor, a maniacal laugh as I shove too many Doritos into my mouth, and a silent scream as my migraine hits. I enjoy being a girl!)

So, yeah. I did what the tampon told me! After taking the kids to catch their ride to College for Kids, I played fourteen rounds of tennis (rounds? sets? I really have no idea!), I mastered The Cartwheel in my front yard, I marched around a football field with a tuba, and I cross-country skied across some country!

Tampon totally had my back. I returned to the house to find that all of my laundry was finished and put away, the floors were sparkling, the dog had been trained, and my shower problem had been solved! The only thing Tampon didn’t do was pick my kids up and bring them back home to me, and that’s the only reason why I decided to remove and dispose of it.

And thank God I did!

It might sound silly, but if you substitute “Grandma” for “tampon” the way I just did, it becomes a bit easier to heed the advice! So, I’ve decided to throw caution to the wind. I’m grabbing my keys and hitting the road. You see, somewhere out there is a carnival with my name written all over it, and I’m going to have fun. I *do* trust you, Tampon! I do! (Why am I suddenly crying? Do you have any Funyons I can borrow?!)

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Spinning Bats and Plump Cats

Because school starts up in less than two weeks, we’re currently spending a lot of time trying to tie up loose ends and do some of the things we’ve been talking about doing since the summer began. (We STILL haven’t gone out for a Pancake Breakfast! Unacceptable!)

Tomorrow evening is our last chance to cash in the free River City Rascals baseball tickets the girls earned at school last year. I’m a HUGE baseball fan. (I’m not a huge baseball fan.) The only thing that will possibly keep us away from the stadium tomorrow (other than my complete lack of enthusiasm) is the fact that the temperature is supposed to hit 98 degrees, which along with being a terrible band, is about 38 degrees too hot for me to plop down in a stadium seat. Meredith has decided that if we cannot deal with the heat of the game, we should go with Plan B, which involves a Chinese buffet. All I Can Eat Crab Rangoon, or feeling sweat run down my back while eating peanuts or Skittles or some other crap because I tend to not think ahead and the concession stands at these places typically offer nothing but fried up dead animals that are all too often served on sticks. Hrm. This is a tough one. (This is not a tough one.)

Do you remember back in May when I bought my juicer? I’ve used it exactly three times, and I haven’t been terribly smiley about any of my concoctions. (The promise of apple season is the only thing preventing me from trying to sell the blasted thing.) Luckily, unlike the juicer, my spinning wheel purchase has officially stuck. This is my latest bobbin.

It has some thick and thin and slubby bits, and although I wish my bobbins were even and beautiful when full, I haven’t yet mastered the hook adjustments. Anyway, for the spinners out there, I have one more bobbin to fill with this fiber before I attempt to Navajo ply it. I’m not so great at the spinning thing, but it’s all about the practice, right? Right! Any advice would be appreciated.

Hey! Do you remember when Harper took a hole puncher to Sidney’s ear? Although we haven’t seen much of Sid since Scout became part of the family, I wanted to assure you that she does still exist. (AND, so does the dent in her ear.)

She’ll be hiding in the basement (with that amazing pillow globe that I bought when I was pregnant with Meredith) until the dog is no longer a threat, which should occur sometime around the 12th. The 12th of Never. Also, do you remember learning how to put your shoulders back and stick out your neck and tilt your head and suck in your stomach and push your tongue against your front teeth all in an effort to make yourself appear a bit more photogenic?

Sidney hasn’t learned that yet.

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