What do you get from a glut of TV? A pain in the neck and an IQ of three!

As much as I am cheering for them to live, part of me knows that I have invited these plants to my house so that I can watch them die.

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I need to either figure out how to handle plants, or I need to come up with a horticulturally driven Oompah Loompah dirge so that the passing is more quirky than catastrophic.

At 2:36 in the morning I deleted 267 photos from my phone because I am out of storage and I don’t own an Itty Bitty Book Light to help me make better use of my sleepless nights. Most of the photos were blurry shots of cats or lines from outdated school forms telling me where I need to be and when and something around here needs to change because my phone does not represent who I want to be at this point in my life. Knowing how short our time is on this planet, I no longer feel good about helping the Bubble Witch save her pets.

Do you remember last year when I was¬†wondering if my life would be better if I could change my shape and get rid of my creaky ankles before my nephew’s graduation? I gave myself one year to feel comfortable in my own skin and I hate it when people say things like Achievement: Unlocked, yet here we are. My nephew graduated last Friday which meant I was able to hang out by myself for three hours in a Hyundai Sonata before going sleeveless at a graduation ceremony. The next morning I ate a sweet potato muffin and I didn’t hate myself afterwards. During the drive home I Sondre Lerched like I’ve never Sondre Lerched before with a bag of cashews and some unsweetened tea. I found myself to be¬†96% delightful.

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3 thoughts on “What do you get from a glut of TV? A pain in the neck and an IQ of three!”

  1. I just read an article on eight office plants that are nearly impossible to kill. I read it because I need those kinds of plants in my house. For some reason, my office plants are doing just fine.

    You’re beautiful.

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