Conversations with Meredith Archives : Page 3 of 4 : Fluid Pudding

Your favorite color is orange?! So is MINE!!!!!!!

I’m happy to announce that Meredith celebrated her birthday with TWO friends at Build-a-Bear yesterday. (The dramatic set-up is here.) Long story shortened: After I gave up on Mom #2, I left a message for Mom #3. Less than 20 minutes later, Mom #2 called and we set up a plan. Shortly after we hung up, Mom #3 called, and we set up the same plan. (Let’s never speak of this again, shall we? So much completely unnecessary drama! (As most mom drama of this nature is, I suppose.))

Most importantly, both girls were absolutely delightful.

Gabby: Mrs. Pudding, I think we have a lot in common. Do you like to shop at Target?

Me: I do!

Gabby: I DO TOO!!!!!!

Josie: When I was in kindergarten we had Show and Tell every Friday. When they moved me up to first grade, I found out that we don’t have Show and Tell any more. And that’s disappointing. BUT, my dad is down at the book fair, and if he can find Where the Red Fern Grows, I won’t be disappointed any more.

Meredith: I was going to build a bunny today, but when I saw the pony, my heart melted right down into my lungs!

So, anyway. All is well. AND this week will find me attending my first PTO meeting, rushing to a dentist appointment at 7:00 in the morning, and visiting with Bossy at Bailey’s Chocolate Bar. It doesn’t get much better than that.
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I just put up a new Tropicana Juicy Rewards Program. (AND I’m giving away another $50 Visa gift card!) Follow this link! ‘ ‘ ‘text/javascript’>

Despite my phone voice, I am Completely Sane and Decent.

As you know, the girls’ birthdays are this week. Because I tend to lack the organizational skills (and patience) necessary to throw a party, I told both Meredith and Harper that they may choose a friend, and we’ll take that friend to Build-a-Bear and out for lunch or dinner! Harper chose a friend from school, I asked the mom, she was cool with it, and there you go—my Wednesday morning is now filled with birthday fun from 9:30 through 12:30.

Meredith is a horse of a different color. Instead of going with one of her regular friends, she decided to choose a friend from a different class. A friend she had never mentioned before. “Mom,” she said, “Kaitlyn is a really good person.”

Me: Do you play with her at recess?

Meredith: Not really, but I *do* see her at Parent Pick Up.

I picked up the Buzz Book and decided to cold call Kaitlyn’s mom to tell her that we, as strangers, would love to come to their house and take their child to the mall. (Please know that I rehearsed my “Obviously, I would love for you to join us, as I know we’ve never met! Whatever makes you the most comfortable! Here is my credit information as well as a notarized form stating that I’ve never been arrested! IBreastfedBothBabiesAndWeDon’tWatchPorn!”) Anyway, their phone has been disconnected. SO, I asked Meredith to get Kaitlyn’s new number, and sadly, Meredith freaked out about not being able to carry a pencil to recess. SO, we made a fancy calling card for Meredith to give to Kaitlyn, and when she handed it over, she said something like, “If your mom calls my mom, naybe you can come to my birthday!” (I love that Meredith is still saying Naybe. Anyway.)

Kaitlyn has had our number for nearly a week and hasn’t called. (Meredith came up with the idea of going to her apartment and when the mom answers, we’ll extend our arms and say, “We come in PEACE.” Although it’s a lovely thought, I encouraged her to choose a different friend instead.)

Meredith: I really like Gabby!

Me: Who is Gabby?

Meredith: She’s in my Thursday class at the middle school!

Here we go again. Meredith does not know Gabby’s last name, nor does she know which elementary school Gabby attends. I called the middle school teacher and explained the situation. AND, because she is a saint, she actually called Gabby’s mom and told her what was going on, and supposedly the mom was totally cool with everything and quickly supplied both her home and cell phone number so we could reach her about the party. Hooray!

I called the home number on Saturday. No answer. I called the cell, and after five or so rings, it went into voice mail. I left a very long-winded message introducing myself and explaining that Meredith has chosen to take Gabby to Build-a-Bear with us, and that I wanted to extend the invitation to Gabby’s mom as well! In fact, I believe I said, “If you would rather meet us at the mall, I completely understand! After the girls build their bears, I was thinking of taking them to a nearby restaurant—and I’d be thrilled if you could join us!” Anyway, I actually surprised myself with just how SANE I sounded, because I tend to go all nutty when I’m leaving messages. (Seriously—ask my boss from ten years ago. She knows.)

It has been 48 hours, and I haven’t received a return call. And I’m taking it personally, because although I thought I sounded totally fine, I probably did not.

Full Disclosure: At Meredith’s insistance, I called back again yesterday. (I did not leave another message.) AND, because I’m starting to feel a bit worried that Meredith will be solo tripping the birthday experience, I bit the bullet and called back AGAIN this morning. (I did not leave another message.) I won’t be calling tomorrow.

It’s such a tricky thing, because for whatever reason, Meredith is choosing friends that I’ve never heard of. AND, when I asked why she isn’t choosing one of the regulars, she gets a bit teary-eyed. SO, I don’t really want to push it.

This gets easier, right? Yes?! Okay then!

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I’m drinking lots of juice and diving into the Tropicana Juicy Rewards Program. (AND giving away a $50 Visa gift card!) You can follow along by following this link!

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Everyone is invited, Mr. Dangerfield.

Lately, Meredith feels she is not getting enough respect.

After much consideration, she has determined that throwing a party will be the best way to gather her housemates and confront them in regard to their general lack of respect.

Therefore, a Give Meredith Respect Party is being thrown. (Gifts are appreciated, but not required.)

If the proper amount of respect is not shown, attendees will be evicted from the party.

(And, yes. I’m now teaching her the difference between Your and You’re. It’s a difficult but important lesson for a six year old who gets no respect.) ‘ ‘ ‘text/javascript’>

Meredith is a carnivore.

She read it to us this morning as “I am thankful for the Thanksgiving turkey, because I love the prayer.”

However, I do enjoy picturing Meredith hunting and seizing a wild turkey for our Thanksgiving dinner. It’s all about the prey, you know.

(The first part is about her grandparents’ dog—an animal Meredith will never attack and eat. Hopefully.)

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This is why I can’t chill with the bird watchers.

The girls are home from school today. I’m not sure why, but I think it has something to do with either staff development or the birth of Matthew Sweet.

As I prepared my very large cup of coffee this morning, I glanced out into the back yard where I noticed a fairly large bird with a red spot on his head.

Me (still suffering from pregnancy brain, five years after the fact): Sssh! Girls! Come look at this! We have a red peckerhead in our back yard!

Harper (scrambling toward the window): What’s a peckerhead?

Me (still completely unaware of what I’m saying): A peckerhead is that bird with the red spot on his head! He takes his beak and he beats it against a tree so it goes knockknockknockknockknock!

Harper: Meredith! We’ve got a peckerhead in the yard!

Thank God for Meredith. She slowly wandered over, looked out into the back yard, and said, “Actually, Mommy, I think that’s a woodpecker.”

Okay then. Right you are. And while we’re here, let’s not ever speak of the peckerheads. ‘ ‘ ‘text/javascript’>

I’ve got a sweet potato in my oven, and nothing much to say.

Every morning for the past week I have found myself dropping Meredith off at school at 8:30, returning home with Harper, cleaning up the kitchen a bit, putting a sweet potato in the oven at 9:30, figuring out laundry, etc., and then eating the sweet potato at 11:00 (with one tablespoon of butter and light on the salt, if you’re wondering). And, yes. My mornings are bland at best. Aren’t you excited about NaBloPoMo? I need to come up with thirty new and exciting ways to report that I have a sweet potato in my oven!

What else is happening, you ask? Harper and I just assembled twelve bags of potato chips and bubbles for her pre-K’s fall party. Meredith’s class has won a pajama/stuffed animal/cupcake party for this afternoon, and her fall party is tomorrow. (It is NOT a Halloween party, people. It is a celebration of the harvest tide! Nothing spooky about that!)

Harper turned 4.5 yesterday, and Meredith turned 6.5 today. I will be 39.5 in a few weeks.

Meredith has a computer class at school, and yesterday she created this:

I love it for so many reasons, but I especially love that she put an owl in the tree and it’s saying “hoo hoo”.

This is completely unrelated to anything that has to do with Hoo Hoo: Tonight I am going all by myself to see the Michael Jackson movie. I never really considered myself to be a huge Michael Jackson fan, but for some reason I’m drawn to the idea of this film. And it better be good, Michael Jackson, because I don’t get out much.

Oh! One more thing! Yesterday afternoon Meredith told me that she had lunch with a new friend at school. When I asked what the new friend had brought in her lunch, Meredith answered, “She eats The Lonely Sandwiches.”

Me: What is a lonely sandwich?

Meredith: The Lonely Sandwiches! You know, with the round pink stuff inside. And cheese and mustard.

Me: Baloney sandwiches?

Meredith: No. The Lonely Sandwiches.

I kind of like the idea of sharing lunch with the lonely sandwiches. ‘ ‘ ‘text/javascript’>

Slaughterous Sneakers and Yo-Yo Ma Dreams

Meredith has a half day at school today, which means it’s also Show and Tell Day! After thinking long and hard about who or what to bring, she finally decided that Alex the Cat was the perfect choice.

Meredith: I thought about bringing Rainbow Bear, but I love Alex the best. If Alex was a REAL cat, I would feed her and take good care of her.

Me: Wouldn’t it be weird if Alex came to life and you really COULD feed her?

Meredith: No. But it WOULD be weird if my shoes came to life in the middle of the night and killed my family!

Me: Yeah. That would be weird. And disappointing.

Meredith: Yeah.

Okay. If any unfortunate events take place in the Pudding House, please be on the lookout for this guy (and his identical twin):

This evening, Jeff and I will be kicking off our week long Eight Years of Marriage Jubilee with sushi and the possibility of Tom Russell! According to the people who make up these things, Year Eight equals Bronze, Linens, and Lace. In other words, I’m still holding out for Year Twenty Four—The Year of Musical Instruments! (Cross your fingers for me and my dream cello! Eight down, sixteen to go!)

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(I currently have three giveaway things going on. That has never happened before. Are you feeling lucky? You certainly look lucky.) ‘ ‘ ‘text/javascript’>

Blitzkrieg Bop

I have an idea. Let’s make that whole “Attack Site” thing The Thing of Which We Shall Not Speak (TToWWSNS), okay? Onward!

I have a question. Should I be eating polenta? My grocery store is starting to carry “exciting” flavors, and I really don’t know what polenta is, but if the packaging looks sort of artsy and the words Mushroom Onion are right there in front of me, well, let’s just say I’m feeling a bit of temptation. The only thing that makes me put the polenta back on the shelf is the fact that holding it reminds me of holding pork sausage. I hold pork sausage only once each year. On Christmas morning. When I make this.

I have another question. Does anyone else detest the mornings as much as I do? It seems that our mornings are filled with kids yelling and screaming and pushing one another, and I let all of these things slowly fill me up until steam pours out of my ears and I feel as if I might sneak off into the bedroom and put my fist through a wall. This morning on the way to school, I (loudly) taught the girls about The Golden Rule. And I know how ridiculous I sounded, but I decided to NOT yell and scream about their behaviors and ugh! something about the importance of Teaching Moments, and gheez. I came home from drop off and made the biggest, most unstable pinto bean burrito you can imagine, and then I went to the vet clinic and picked up Ramona, who had a bit of a peeing issue on Monday, and now here I sit with a cat on my lap and a banana in my hand.

Me: Meredith, do you want Harper to push YOU down?

Meredith: No.

Me: Then you shouldn’t push Harper down.

Meredith: Mommy, I really don’t think Harper is strong enough to push me down.

Me: Burritoburritoburritoburritoburrito…

I’m wearing handknit socks today, and they go a little something like this:

Also, don’t forget the Febreze Giveaway! (It occurred during TToWWSNS, and I don’t want you to miss it!)

Finally, I’m doing NaBloPoMo in November. Are you?

Oh! Have you visited Offbeat Mama? Because I love it. So much. ‘ ‘ ‘text/javascript’>

Are you hinting my apples are not what they ought to be?!

Did you hear the rumbling noise yesterday morning at approximately 11:30 CST? That, my friend, was me becoming a soccer mom. I’m not quite sure what the new job entails, other than hauling the kids around three or four times each week for practices and games.

Also, I believe it means I need more skirts. Here is my most recent fabric choice:

In my breezy world, everyone needs a skirt with spooky trees. And the apples make it the perfect skirt for meeting the teacher on Wednesday evening, don’t you think? (School starts on Thursday. School starts on Thursday! And suddenly, it’s almost Christmas.)

This morning on the way to get flu shots, we passed by a pizza dump.

Me: Wait! Roll down your windows. Do you smell the pizza crust baking?!

Meredith: That’s not pizza. That’s my burning flesh.

Five minutes later, she asked if I have ever been arrested. When I told her I have not, she made it clear that she did not believe me.

I’ll miss Meredith when school starts. ‘ ‘ ‘text/javascript’>

Too bad we’re going to miss Upper GI Wednesday!

Yesterday afternoon we were able to attend a glow-in-the-dark juggling/magic show at the local library. Because we know how these things tend to fill up quickly (We don’t really know that, but we pretend to be knowing. We’re so smug.), we arrived thirty minutes before show time.

As the girls and I waited for the show to begin, Jeff announced that he was going to use the restroom. Ten minutes later he returned.

Jeff: Girls, I think the show is about to begin! I just saw the juggler in the bathroom, and he was washing his balls!!!

Me: Wow. There you go!

Jeff: Yep. So, I guess THAT happened!

Meredith: Why was he washing his balls? Were they sticky?!

Jeff: Well, I’m not sure. I didn’t want to crowd him.

And, Scene.

In health-related news (look away, Eddie), all of my test results are showing that my gall bladder really is a respectable fellow. SO, I’m now on a different medication, and will be having an abdominal CAT scan as well as an upper endoscopy sometime in the next month. Apparently, this is colonoscopy/endoscopy season (who knew?!)—making it very difficult to score an appointment. (Just in case you’re interested, it’s also groundhog, squirrel, and coyote season! Grab your forks!)

And, finally—because we can’t go to Luxembourg, we’ve decided to go camping at Trout Lodge. We’re leaving tomorrow, and according to the brochure we will be there for Safari Sunday, Blast from the Past Monday, and Wrangler Tuesday. Ponies will be ridden. S’mores will be consumed. AND, during naptime? I’ll be dinking around with a Swirl Shawl, or perhaps a Swirl Scarf. Which size do YOU prefer?

Time to juggle. ‘ ‘ ‘text/javascript’>