Fluid Pudding

First off and most importantly, thank you for all of your kind words regarding Meredith and her spelling bee! I love you guys. Please come over for dinner right now. I’m making this, and it smells like onion heaven. (That’s a very good thing.)

Okay.

My Thursday spinning class starts at 9:30. I have attended the class every week since Thursday, December 27th, which means it’s still a fairly new gig, but this is what I know: I LOVE it. I schedule appointments around it. I plan sports bra laundry around it. I love the instructor, I love her music, and I love the fact that I sometimes drip sweat onto the floor as I ride up a hill in the dark.

The place where I spin is right across the street from the girls’ school. On Thursdays, I tend to drop them off at around 8:40. I then park at the gym’s lot and drink hot tea until 8:50. I then enter the gym, sign up for a spot in the spinning studio, place my towels and my water on my favorite bike, and slowly warm up until the instructor arrives. At around 9:15, the studio is normally full of spinners. Although I haven’t really spoken to anyone, I always smile at the woman from Australia. I always stay far away from the older gentleman who is VERY outspoken about his belief that everyone should own a gun. (I have no idea how he manages to turn every topic of conversation into a gun control debate, but he does! It’s sort of like that whole Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon thing, minus the fun, plus furrowed brows and paranoia.) I try to stick close to the tall blonde woman who seems to weigh 60 pounds. (Fun Fact: If you click on the tall blonde woman link and listen to the song, please know that I can’t sing along without choking.)

This lady? I do not like this lady. Let’s call her Coco, because she actually carries a Chanel mini-backpack to the gym.

Coco always arrives for class right around the time that the bikes are filling up, and she ALWAYS screams to her friends about These New People who are showing up too EARLY and reserving their bikes too EARLY and, “I come straight here after I drop off my kid! I can’t get here any earlier and all of these NEW people are showing up and taking all the bikes! What the HELL?!”

These are her friends.

Their kids attend the same middle school as Coco’s, yet they somehow manage to arrive at class at least twenty minutes before her.

When Coco arrived to class last Thursday, all of the bikes were taken and SHE LOST HER MIND.

Coco: What the HELL?! IT WAS MY PLAN TO SPIN THIS MORNING!!! Who ARE all of these people?!

Friend #1: I know!

Friend #2: It’s disgusting.

(Really! She said it was disgusting! I can name at least 93 things that are more disgusting than people showing up a little early for a spinning class!)

Friend #3: Whoever put those towels on that bike hasn’t been here since I’ve been here. I say take it.

Coco then removed the water bottle and towels that someone else had placed on the bike, sat down, and began warming up—all while chomping gum and ranting about how ridiculous life can be.

Less than two minutes later, two gym employees entered the spinning studio with a guy who occasionally attends the class. Apparently, the towels and water bottle Coco had removed were his. The employees then BOUNCED Coco, and my heart filled with joy as she gathered her phone and her tiny backpack while yelling at the employees about All These People and how It’s Not Fair and You People Need to Do Something!!!

(Yes. My heart filled with joy. I’m not the greatest person and God isn’t finished with me yet or something (or other).)

The best part of all? After she stomped out and the door closed, Coco’s friends actually laughed about the whole thing. And Friend #2 spent the entire class shamelessly flirting with the guy who snitched on Coco.

He definitely wasn’t into it.

I matched (and sometimes outpaced) Friend #2’s ride until the final song ended, which I believe means that I won. And I’ll be back on Thursday. At 8:45. Because I can.

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I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I’ve been trying pretty hard to not write about the kids at Fluid Pudding. (Mommy Blogger,  Schmommy Blogger, am I right?!) Today I feel the need to pull up my MomBlog pants for a quick Meredith story.

Every year, the girls’ school holds a spelling bee. Every third, fourth, and fifth grade classroom has a mini bee, during which a top speller is chosen to represent the class at the school bee. Meredith was the top speller in her third grade class last year, which scored her a spot at the bee.

Please take a moment and follow this link to see how tiny she looked at the bee last year. While you’re there, you can read about how I cried three times during the bee. After that, you can see that I was sort of obsessed with that whole nose piercing thing last year at this time. Eyeliner dots on my nose. So silly. We were all younger back then, weren’t we?

A few months ago, Meredith came home from school and announced that she had once again scored the honor of being the top speller in her class. She then presented us with the (HUGE) list of words that she would be studying until the day of the school spelling bee. She was serious. Motivated. She wanted to win more than she has wanted ANYTHING (except for an iPod Touch) EVER.

Because Jeff is the greatest dad, he recorded each and every one of those challenging words into a spelling app so that Meredith could practice around the clock. Her iPod would recite each word in Jeff’s voice, Meredith then typed each word in, and when she was finished testing she was given a percentage of correct words along with a list of missed words. Last weekend she tested herself on over 300 of the words. She missed only two of them, and the two she missed were because of typing errors. She was ready.

I drove to school yesterday afternoon for this year’s bee. Although the bee had absolutely nothing to do with me, I was a wreck. When the spellers entered the cafeteria, I immediately started guzzling my tea to keep from tearing up. (Why?! I know!!!) The third, fourth, and fifth graders were seated, the moderator explained the rules, and it was time to begin.

It didn’t take long to notice that one of the spellers is what I refer to as a Magical Child. She’s a fifth grader. She’s lovely and polite and smart. She is a musician. Her mom is involved in the PTO. Her family attends events. She is well-liked. Confident. She is a GREAT SPELLER.

Moderator: Magical Child, your word is Insouciant.

Magical Child: Insouciant. EyeEnEssOhYouSeeEyeAyEnTee. Insouciant.

Moderator: That is correct.

I knew right away that Magic could take this thing.

It took only a few rounds before several of the spellers’ nerves were exposed and they started making simple mistakes. (The first boy down missed the word Bridge, and it broke me because I know he knew that word and I also know that the bee was something he took seriously because he was wearing a tie. A TIE! (Studies have shown that emotional tears contain more manganese, an element that affects temperament, and more prolactin, a hormone that regulates milk production. Sobbing out manganese and prolactin is thought to relieve tension by balancing the body’s stress levels and eliminating build-up of the chemicals, making the crier feel better. I need to head to the pharmacy and grab some supplements, because I believe I’m currently manganese and prolactin deficient.))

It took about twenty minutes to get down to the final three spellers: Meredith, Magic, and Some Girl I Don’t Know.

Meredith had spelled Describe, Upbringing, Poultry, Caterpillar, Eruption, Emotional, Curiosity, and Isolation. These were easy words. It was time to turn it up a notch.

Moderator: Magical Child, your word is Pharmaceutical.

(Please know that her word wasn’t REALLY Pharmaceutical. At this point my hands were so sweaty that I could no longer take notes.)

Magic: Pharmaceutical. Pharmaceutical. PeeAychAyArEmEeSeeYouTeeEyeSeeAyEl. Pharmaceutical.

Moderator: I’m sorry.

As soon as Magic sat down, I made eye contact with Meredith. This was it. Things were happening. Oh My Oh My Oh My Oh My Et Cetera.

It was now down to Meredith and That Girl I Don’t Know, who tended to spell her words as if she was asking a question. (Her style did not inspire confidence. Have I mentioned how emotionally charged this whole spelling bee thing can be?!)

Moderator: Meredith. Your word is Evaluate.

Meredith (after taking a big breath): Evaluate. EeVeeAyYouAyTeeEe. Evaluate.

She knew she missed it. She knew her nerves got the best of her. She was angry and disappointed and I have no idea what happened next because I was lying on the floor soaked in my own vomit.

The Girl I Still Don’t Know spelled her word correctly to finish out the round, and then spelled her NEXT word correctly and that’s when she was proclaimed the winner and it all happened so quickly and photos were taken and I DO remember whispering the word, “Damnit.” and I hope no one saw or heard me, because this is not the time nor the place for my foul mouth. I clapped for the winner. I did. I was sincerely happy for her, and the fact that her sister went up and hugged her after the bee warmed my heart like crazy. What made me even HAPPIER was that I later learned that The Girl I Don’t Know is in the fifth grade. It was her final year to compete. If Meredith can’t win, I want it to be a fifth grader. I want it to be a Girl I Don’t Know.

When Meredith came out to the car after school, Harper asked how the bee went.

Meredith: I lost.

Me: Actually, you tied for second place! Third place last year, second place this year! IT’S ALL SO AWESOME WITH THE DAISIES AND UNICORNS AND TWIX BARS AND HAPPINESS!

Harper: What word did you miss?

Meredith: Evaluate.

Harper, who is about to win the Fluid Pudding Award for Kindness with this statement: Meredith, evaluate is a very tricky word.

Me: It is a VERY tricky word and PRIDE AND AWESOME AND SOMETIMES I HAVE TO RAMBLE AND SPEAK LOUDLY BECAUSE I DON’T KNOW WHY!

Meredith: When Dad gets home, can we celebrate with a burrito?

Silly question. ‘ ‘ ‘text/javascript’>

(Harper gave me pens for Christmas.) ‘ ‘ ‘text/javascript’>

Every time Meredith has money, she wants to spend it on gifts for her friends. I don’t think this is a bad thing, and I enjoy seeing how thoughtful she is becoming as she chooses The Perfect Gift for different girls in her class. Because we’ve heard rumors that a birthday party is being planned in February, Meredith asked if we could go to the mall yesterday. She has chosen a few gifts for the birthday girl, and the store that sells the gifts (Justice) currently has a 40% storewide sale.

Please note that although I mentioned the store name up there, I didn’t link to it. Because I don’t like it. Because they sell padded bras for children. I mention how ridiculous this is every time we visit the store, yet we STILL VISIT THE STORE. (The girls love their pajamas and jewelry.) (Oh! Please don’t tell me how terrible I am for even walking in the door KNOWING that they sell padded bras for children. As hackneyed as it sounds, you really DO choose your battles/boycotts. I tend to not purchase products that were tested on animals. If someone tells me that the best seitan is at Whole Foods, I’ll go to Whole Foods regardless of the CEO’s views on climate change. (I’m on the edge of trying seitan. I might take you with me on that adventure.) My kids have been vaccinated and they’re current on their flu shots. I made them watch the inauguration yesterday. I will never wear anything with a Nike logo on it. I would rather have a migraine than eat a hamburger. I will always turn to rescue groups when it’s time to adopt a pet. I’m just a big bowl of Ridiculous and Kind and Anxious and Smart and Thirsty. (My hot tea is brewing. It was purchased at a place that was recently acquired by Starbucks. I won’t stop buying my tea, because my tea makes me happy. If you’re rolling your eyes right now, I hope they don’t stick like that. I really don’t! I think you’re so pretty, even though we might make different choices.))

The four of us arrived at the mall at approximately 12:30 and none of us had eaten lunch, so we headed to the food court where babies were screaming and kids were running and strollers were being pushed into people (mostly accidentally, I’m sure) and so many people. SO many people and so much noise and terrible food smells and sticky surfaces and although I have a prescription for Xanax, I rarely carry it with me. I needed Xanax at the mall food court, but I settled for a veggie burger.

After eating, we headed to the store where Meredith chose a stuffed animal, a necklace, and a hat for her friend. Something that should have taken about three minutes ended up taking fifteen, and when we exited the store and Jeff asked if we needed to go anywhere else in the mall, all I could say was, “I just need to be in the car. Right now.” I know my kids think I’m a weirdo. I also know that when you have kids, you can’t always avoid crowds. So many parades, amusement parks, parties, et cetera. I try to keep it together. That’s all I can do.

This morning I was supposed to go to the J for a spinning class after dropping Harper off at school. I made it as far as the parking lot before turning around and going right back home. I really can’t do people today. (I try to make it to spinning at least thirty minutes before class starts. After selecting my bike (#4!) and placing my towels, I warm up slowly while listening to the other class members talk about how disappointed they are because the class has become so crowded with “all these people who made resolutions to get into shape!” I’m one of the people they’re talking about, and I understand that they’re bummed about having to show up a few minutes earlier to sign up and choose a bike, but I also know that my paid membership carries the same weight as their paid membership and Dear God I’m so crabby right now.)

Someone around here needs to go to the grocery store, and that someone is me. Less than ten miles from my house sits a butternut squash that needs to find its way into my oven. (I’ll be using the self check-out lane.) Enjoy your Tuesday. ‘ ‘ ‘text/javascript’>

Well, that week passed by quickly, didn’t it?

Let’s see. I gave my dogs their heartworm preventatives, I made a zucchini lasagna, I went to Pilates and spinning, and I joined Tempe and my mom at The Melting Pot where the guy in the kitchen PUT BACON ON MY SALAD AFTER I ORDERED IT WITHOUT BACON AND I TOOK A BIG BITE OF SALAD WITHOUT NOTICING AND UGH. BACON.

(I know. I went all caps in real life, too. I realize it sounds ridiculous, but I’ve been a vegetarian for quite some time now, and Hhhhhhh. I now feel like I’m back at Day One. Jeff has assured me that this isn’t the case because it wasn’t intentional, but still. Still. I don’t want to talk about it. I know I sound petty. It made me sad. That’s all.)

I finished knitting a shawl for a woman in Florida who sends amazing Christmas presents to my kids even though she has never met them.

I put some time in on a cardigan that will eventually look like this, but now mainly looks like this:

Most importantly? My Rivet & Sway glasses arrived yesterday afternoon! (The story is here in case you just tuned in. Don’t forget, the ANGELASWAYS coupon code will score you $25 off a pair of glasses until April 8th, 2013!)

I tried to get a decent photo of myself wearing my glasses this morning. I was sitting in a parking lot and the sun was positioned in a way that made it look as if I was shooting rainbows out of the side of my face. Sadly, after five or so failed attempts, I started throwing my crabby face. You get what you get and you don’t throw a fit. (Unless someone puts unsolicited bacon on your salad.)

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This morning I dropped the kids off at 8:35, which gave me less than an hour before my first call of the day. I drove like one of those hell bats straight to the lake (My inner hell bat is very safe. She uses turn signals. No need for anger/concern.), loaded up my iPod, and decided to see how long I could run.

I ran/walked (mostly walked) for about 45 minutes, and it felt great. I haven’t run since I suffered a stress fracture in my heel on October 28th. This morning I learned that two months with no running put me straight back to I Can’t Run Without Thinking I Might Die. My longest running stretch was right around three and a half minutes, which was long enough to land me close to the end of Andrew Bird. And that’s a good place to be. (Gutter head.)

I saw less than five people while I was at the lake. The sun was shining. I was sweating like a heavy sweater would sweat. It was absolutely perfect. Best of all, the waterfall I hadn’t seen since October 25th had been waiting for my return.

Things are happening. This morning for the first time in forever, I didn’t feel the need to wear a shirt that covered my rear. You have no idea what a huge step this is for me. You really have no idea. (Unless you do.) ‘ ‘ ‘text/javascript’>

IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT: Because you guys were so helpful in your comments, and because so many of you expressed an interest in Rivet & Sway, the company has given me a $25 coupon code to share with you! Just enter ANGELASWAYS during the prescription checkout process. (Don’t enter it while ordering your Home Try-On kit. The kit is always free!) Let’s get glasses together!!! How fun is this?! (The code is good through 4/8/13.)

Do you remember way back in November of 2010 when my eye doctor told me that I needed glasses?

I did what anyone would do. I came home, I took a cruddy photo of myself, and I started the process of trying on different frames. Virtually.

It started out innocently enough.

But, you know me. I get overwhelmed so easily, and that’s when I start acting squirrelly.

It didn’t take long to realize that I would never have luck with the online thing. I grabbed my keys and drove to an actual store where I chose some frames and was then talked into a bunch of weird extras that I didn’t completely understand. I walked out feeling sort of bummed because the sign on the door told me that All Frames Are $99!, yet I had just written a check for over $300. (Yes. I still write checks. Sometimes I’m cute like it’s 1983.)

Fast forward to December 29th, 2012. I told you about my teapot. I told you about my yarn and my spinning class and I casually mentioned that I was excited about being able to choose some new frames (the kind you wear on your face) in 2013.

Because Fluid Pudding is my vision board (By the way, don’t get me started on vision boards.), two days later I received a message from Rivet & Sway—an eyewear boutique designed exclusively for women. Full Disclosure: They told me they would comp a pair of glasses to me if I share the Rivet & Sway process with the folks who stop by Fluid Pudding. In other words, an amazing place is offering an amazing deal, and I’m under no obligation to say nice things. (The good news? I have nothing BUT nice things to say.)

Here’s how Rivet & Sway works.

1. You go to the website.

2. You take a look at the frames.

3. You narrow down your choices depending on the shape of your face and the size and color of frames you might want.

4. If you get stuck and need some advice, you contact the personal stylist, who is SO nice and SO smart. (I told her that my face is oval, and I sent her this photo so she could see my current frames and my skin tone and my hair color and my silk scarf. (I really need to wear that scarf more often.))

5. Less than 24 hours later, the stylist will send an e-mail recommending styles that she feels will look great, and she then suggests that you add the styles to a Home Try-On kit. (She recommended four styles for me. I chose my favorite three out of the four and added them to my Home Try-On kit. The Home Try-On thing was vital for me. After messing around with the virtual try-on process at several other online stores (See the mustard shot above. Really. I cannot be trusted to do these things correctly.), I knew I couldn’t handle trying on pretend frames. BUT, I’m scared to walk into an actual store knowing that I can pretty much be talked into anything.) For Rivet & Sway’s Home Try-On, you order up to three frames, they arrive in a few days, and you then have three days to try them on and feel their weight and wear them in public and ask your family and friends to tell you what looks best. Genius.

6. On Day Three, you box the frames back up, attach the pre-paid and pre-addressed label to the box, and you send them back to Rivet & Sway. It’s so easy. You are under NO obligation to order, but if you DO order? Your new glasses will cost $199. That includes the frames and the prescription lenses and coatings. (The advice from the personal stylist, the Home Try-On, and the shipping is always free.)

My Home Try-On frames arrived on Friday, and although I’m about 94.5% sure of the ones I’ll order, I would also like to ask for your opinion.

This is me in the Street Smart frames. Picture me wearing these frames to the library to check out the latest John Irving book. I’ll then come home, put in some freelance time, and prepare my boring treasurer reports for the PTO meeting—all while looking very stylish and smart. (I have no idea how to smile for photos, so I tend to smirk or wince. With that said, I AM happy with my hair in this shot. (I’m trying so hard to balance my negatives with a positive. I had three cookies for lunch. And then I ate hummus. See?))

This is me in the Faster Pussycat frames. I see myself eating doughnuts in these glasses. Also, sushi. Actually, as soon as I tried these on, I felt a swirly and warm spark. I wanted to throw on a skirt. I wanted to seek out an unlikely gathering of trombone players. I wanted to knit a beret and hand it to someone who is clearly in need of a beret!

This is me wearing the Je Ne Sais Quoi frames. Picture me wearing them while steeping up a tumbler of hot tea and perhaps heading out for a Pilates class. (Pilates. I know! I’m clearly in a state of metamorphosis, which brings to mind the phrase, “Pupa?! Supa DUPA!” Get this: I’ll be heading to the J five times this week to try out various fitness classes. My synapses are firing completely differently than they were last year at this time.)

I know it probably sounds silly, but what a fun diversion it was to get frames in the mail and play with them over the weekend! (I played responsibly, of course.) If you’re needing new glasses, please give Rivet & Sway a shot! (Even if you’re not NEEDING new glasses, but want to shake up your style and attitude, go to their website! Seriously—I’m suddenly seeking out trombone concerts and hanging out at libraries and gyms!) I’ve been singing songs about Rivet & Sway all weekend. (I also really like The Character Study and The Punchline!)

(Let me know if you order a Home Try-On kit! I can’t wait to hear what you think!) ‘ ‘ ‘text/javascript’>

It’s snowing.

I would show you a photo of the snow, but it seems that you’ve seen so many of those lately. The snow on my street is no different than the snow three streets over, and our current snow is actually pretty ridiculous when compared to our 2011 snow.

So here we are. New Year’s Eve. Again. New Year’s Eve used to be bananas—fourteen people on the roof of our house ripping apart a (cooked) turkey with their bare hands and singing Tom Petty tunes at the stroke of midnight. This evening we’ll be splitting our time between a friend’s house and Wii/Pajama/Hot Chocolate Night in our own family room. We will have macaroni and cheese. We will bust out the marshmallows. We will watch Ryan Seacrest, but we will be thinking about Dick Clark. Fondly.

As far as resolutions go, well, I tend to not make them.

With that said, my list from 2008 was pretty good.

This was my list of plans from last year, and I think I did everything except for 5, 10, and 12. Also, I still haven’t held a baby monkey.

In 2013, I’d like to get started on this sweater, and I’d like to knit it with this yarn.

I’d like to write one letter each month.

I’d like to avoid taking the low road when I don’t completely understand something. I will try to not puke up political sludge onto my wall unless I’ve tried to understand both sides of the WHOLE story, as well as my own intentions. (At this very moment in time, three Facebook friends of mine have posted links that essentially cover the same story. Two of the friends posted articles from a conservative publication. The other posted an article from a liberal publication. Same story. Wildly different take. AND, I can’t figure out why these people are posting these articles. Is it to educate? Probably not. Is it just another ploy to stretch out the Us vs. Them thing? I think so. To me, Us vs. Them for the sake of Us vs. Them lacks creativity. Using “funny” to mask hatred lacks creativity. Drinking Red Bull lacks creativity. (Unless you’re in London at an Aimee Mann show and you’re really feeling the time difference between here and there and Red Bull is your only hope to make it to the encore.))

We all know where I stand. I don’t eat meat, but I don’t mind if you do. I voted for Obama, yet some of my favorite people in this world did not, and I understand why. I will never carry a gun, nor will I ever send my kids to a school where teachers are encouraged to carry guns, and I’m trying really hard to understand both sides of this debate, because I know that Never is a big word.

This is what I believe.

I believe we should all take care of one another.

I believe we should focus less on why we don’t LIKE one another, and focus on why we LOVE one another.

I believe we should devote more time to pleasant surprises.

Less processed food.

More music and candlelight.

Less time looking at screens.

More time watching snow.

Happy New Year from The Puddings. ‘ ‘ ‘text/javascript’>

Sometimes it’s easier to write every day than to skip a week and try to catch up. I feel ridiculous admitting this, but I’ve been sitting here for nearly ten minutes trying to figure out how to give you a rundown of the past week without either boring you to tears or drowning you in cheese.

Christmas was good. Very good. Every year we have five Christmas gatherings—one for my dad’s side of the family, one for my mom’s side, both sets of grandparents come over here on Christmas day, we go to Jeff’s parents’ house a few days later, and we finish up the run at my folks’ house when my sister and her family come to town.

Let’s see. Harper and Meredith are now sufficiently Furbified, Jeff has enough books to carry him to 2014, and I’ll be sitting over here in the corner trying to spin sock weight yarn with my fast flyer while steeping the Lavender Dreams tea that Harper gave me in the new cast iron teapot that I received from Meredith.

Speaking of spinning, I’m pleased to report that I finished spinning and plying another skein of yarn last week.

It’s my very first 3-ply, and I’m pretty proud of it. With that said, I was shooting for at least 300 yards of a 3-ply sock weight, but what I achieved is 196 yards of 3-ply DK. (This will bore 83% of you: I’m hoping that the fast flyer will enable me to spin finer yarn, because I’m starting to get tired of shooting for sock and hitting DK.) Anyway, this is Chocolate Cherry Merino-Sparkle Blend by Frabjous Fibers, and it was gifted to my mom, whose birthday is today.

Speaking of spinning once again, I have a shocking announcement! Do you remember a few weeks back when I went to a Pilates class? Get this: Two days ago, my sister drove up, and we attended a SPINNING class.

It was absolutely terrible and I hated it, but I’m going back next Tuesday for more. (I hated it because I had no idea what I was doing, and when the instructor yelled for us to stand up, I was taken by surprise, because Stand Up?! (Apparently, in order to stand up, one needs to adjust one’s tension so that one’s knees don’t buckle. I, for one, didn’t know this. Luckily, I eventually figured it out after realizing that I was the only person who was wobbling around. Something had to change. Tension. Yes.)) Anyway, it was 60 minutes of spinning which included 20 minutes of climbing with no warm up and no cool down and the instructor yelled, “YOU’RE NOT GOING TO GET THIS ANYWHERE ELSE!!!” and everyone in the class yelled, “YOU’RE THE BEST, KELLY!!!”

I think I was the only person in that room who didn’t love it, so I’m telling myself that I am WRONG, and that I need to try it at least once more before making a final decision. (There are very few things that I’ve refused to try more than once. In fact, if I had to make a list titled Things I’ve Refused to Try More Than Once, it would contain only the following items: Whiskey, Folding Sheets Too Soon After Reading a Paperback Book (It’s a texture thing. I can’t talk about it.), and Anti-depressants. Also, Unscented Deodorant. Vaginal Delivery.)

Two years ago, I found my eye doctor by calling a random number when my right eye started crying. A few months later, I saw him again after I freaked out at a stoplight. Last year I went back for my annual exam and left with a list of restaurant recommendations and a desire to permanently remove fish from my diet (which I have). This year he dilated my eyes and talked me into feeling enthusiastic about Pilates and spinning. Expect the unexpected, Heraclitus!

Bonus: I get to pick out new glasses after the first of the year. I’ve already been browsing at eco and Lookmatic, but would love to hear your recommendations, too! ‘ ‘ ‘text/javascript’>

The last time we spoke, Meredith was throwing up and I was going all floopy about my nose ring. So much of not very much at all has happened since then! On Monday, I kept Meredith home from school to keep with the “24 Hours Free of Fever” rule. We watched television, we bought craft supplies, and we ate Mexican food. On Tuesday morning at approximately 5:00, all hell broke loose, meaning I came down with the flu or the grippe or whatever the pacesetting kids are calling it these days. I spent all of Tuesday in bed, and got up on Wednesday only after Jeff challenged me to eat a veggie sandwich. I ate it, and I suffered. (Clarification: Jeff is not a jerk. No one around here forces anyone to eat anything, as evidenced by the fact that my seven year old eats NOTHING. (Figuratively. Please don’t call the authorities. (We don’t spank.)))

I felt better yesterday, so I made myself some weird nachos for dinner, and I suffered. (I know! Who would’ve thought?!)

I was back and forth this morning, so Jeff and I raised our Trial by Fire flag, and went out for our annual Last Day Before Christmas Break lunch (vegan burgers!), and I suffered. In fact, I suffered to the extent that although I made it to school in time to see Meredith and Harper play the piano at the holiday assembly this afternoon, I had to dash back home before the holiday parties started. No more vegan burgers or ridiculous nachos or mustard laced sandwiches for me until I’m able to jump around a bit without fear of internal combustion.

(I love my hot water bottle the way some people out there love their guns. Perhaps I should start a campaign where people can actually trade their guns in for hot water bottles. I do believe the world would be a much more comfortable place if we all carried hot water bottles. (And White Ayurvedic Chai. And Tissues.))

I’m hoping to be back here before Christmas. If I’m not, I hope yours is the happiest. (Don’t tell the others. They’ll be so jealous.) ‘ ‘ ‘text/javascript’>