Daily Archives : Page 74 of 110 : Fluid Pudding

With a #2 Pencil to Fill in the Spaces

My Vibe: I’m still sort of cranky, sort of feeling the post-holiday whatevers, but totally excited about the link a friend sent to me on how to make hummus out of sweet potatoes. Stay tuned. Hummus is about to get very interesting at my house.

Turning Pages: The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks is a great choice to fit that First Book of 2012 category. I’m about a third of the way in (I read only at night, and I tend to fall asleep with the spunk of a narcoleptic), but I’m loving it. Quantum mechanically speaking, I really do believe that another me is out there being all scientific with test tubes and discoveries. Meanwhile, the me that you know will continue reading about test tubes and discoveries while choosing the best possible dog treats for puppies with sensitive digestive systems. (You can never go wrong if you remember the following: Anti-Corn! Pro-Salmon!) A friend of mine is finishing up with The Hunger Games. I have a feeling I’ll be diving in very soon.

Although it’s Tiresome, My Left Leg: After studying my MRI, the doctor discovered that I have two stress fractures and a banged up peroneal tendon that may be a candidate for a platelet injection. By the way, peroneal and perineal are two very different things, and this particular doctor wants nothing to do with matters of my perineum. Onward! I will most likely be sporting the boot for more than two weeks. This simply means that I have an immediate need for a few more pairs of cheap leggings.

Enough about my leg already. I’m drinking hot apple cider right now. Did you know that? Also, if you’re keeping track of my K-Cup situation, please know that Breakfast Blend has been eliminated from Meredith’s organizational pyramid strategy known as Last K-Cup Standing.

Football: (What? What?!) We’ve been invited to a Super Bowl party. The last Super Bowl party to which we were invited occurred nine years ago. That party was held at a ridiculously swanky loft in the city, and because I was the only person in attendance who was 1. Over 30, and 2. Pregnant, I immediately felt awkward and crabby. After sitting on a stool nervously shoveling large amounts of fancy bean dip into my face and watching a few people actually toying with the idea of DANCING (at a SUPER BOWL PARTY), my eyes rolled into the back of my head and I quickly found Jeff and asked him to take me home. He did. He then returned to the party, and I sat on our couch drinking decaf hot tea and reading A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius and NOT watching the football game and NOT dancing. And everyone was happy.

What I Had For Lunch: Rice with grilled mango, pineapple, and mushrooms.

Thank you for all of your comments and e-mails. I’ve been terrible lately with responding to messages. Let’s start fresh right now, shall we? (I currently have 959 messages in my Inbox. I haven’t touched 42 of them. Have you ever just deleted everything? How does that feel?) Sweet potato hummus! ‘ ‘ ‘text/javascript’>

Bees and the Bedecking of my Blowhole

I absolutely love that most of you remember the spelling word that took you down in elementary school.

The word that Meredith will remember for the rest of her life? Defiantly.

The great news? Meredith finished in third place. (Of course, because she’s just like me, she HATES that she came in third. She’s PISSED that she came in third. This anger will drive her to work extra hard next year.) ((She knew Defiantly. She got nervous and tripped. Many of the other participants did the same thing. In fact, the very first speller missed his very first (and only) word. My heart broke for him.)) (((Confession: I cried before, during, and after the bee. Before? Just seeing Meredith sitting up there with the seven other students did me in. She looked so small. During? When Meredith missed her word and the round ended and everyone cheered for her? It destroyed me. After? When a fifth grade girl correctly spelled her final word and was declared the winner, she immediately began to do the ugly cry. So did I. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: I need a prescription.)))

I’m abruptly changing the subject now, because it’s Saturday night and I’m seriously considering having a tiny silver ball pierced into the side of my nose. It just might be the crab rangoon talking (Happy Chinese New Year!), so I wanted to put it out there and see what you think. I just searched out some photos on Flickr, and I’m liking the tininess of this woman’s diamond, but I don’t want a diamond. (I know. I know! Actually, this photo made me take a step back, but now I’ve moved forward again. Because look! And look!)

Meredith has a friend over. The girls are dancing in the front room. Jeff is playing guitar in the dining room. The dogs are running around in the back yard. I’m just sitting around drawing dots on my nose with eyeliner…

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Running on Empty, Jackson Browne

People, the following is all about running and my decrepitness. I am so sorry.

As you know, I started the whole Couch to 5K thing back in September. At the three week mark, I stumbled and messed up my left ankle. I then went through a few months of physical therapy and was cleared to run again during the last week of December. SO, on December 31st I started up again. This past Sunday was my fifth run of the year and although I didn’t notice anything out of the ordinary happening during my run, I *did* notice that Monday morning found me having all sorts of crazy pain where my left shin meets the inside of my left knee. (They meet a lot in the kitchen near the Keurig. They also meet fairly often at the Indian restaurant down the street. HA HA HA! Get it?! It’s like they’re friends and not body parts! That’s a funny one!)

I got really angry about the pain yesterday morning when I was scheduled to run again, but couldn’t. I was beyond angry when I went to bed last night, because I’m now off schedule with my Couch to 5K plan. (Please know that I know how ridiculous this is all sounding. Wait! It gets better! I’m about to consult Google for medical advice!) This morning I typed all of my pain information into Google (See? I told you!), and Google and I believe that I have posterior shin splints. Google gave me a kiss on the forehead and told me that it’s probably because of my flat feet coupled with the fact that I’ve been quite sloth-like, and this new Running Every Other Day thing is shocking my lower half.

I remembered that the guy who fitted me for my running shoes also wanted me to buy inserts, but I didn’t buy them. My migraine doctor (who is a runner) also told me to get the inserts. But I didn’t. (Apparently, I don’t take advice unless I’m limping.)

This morning I drove to the running store and asked the nice young man to hook me up with some inserts. As he untied my shoes, I sang to him about my woes.

Me: …something about a sprained ankle and three months later I’m cleared and now my leg is all screwed up where my knee meets my shin on the inside…

Him: Where are you running?

Me: I run at the J. It’s an indoor track.

Him: Well, there’s part of the problem. That’s a tiny track!

Me: It takes twelve laps to make a mile.

Him: You’re like a car driving at 60 miles per hour, and then making 90 degree turns every 15 seconds!

Me: I know!

Him: AND, chances are, if you’re going every other day, you’re mainly running in the same direction every time!

Me: Preach it!

Him: If the track is flat and you’re doing all of that turning and your body isn’t used to running, you’re on the road to disaster.

Me: Are you trying to make me cry?!

Him: What sort of program are you using for your running?

Me: It’s a Couch to 5K app.

Him: Those are really good if you know what you’re doing, but if you’re a beginner and all you’re getting is “Walk! Okay, now…RUN! NOW WALK AGAIN! RUN!!! WALK!!!”, it’s really not that great of a program.

Me: I HAVE NO IDEA IF I’M RUNNING CORRECTLY! I ONCE ASKED MY HUSBAND TO GO WITH ME TO WATCH, BUT THEN I GOT EMBARRASSED BECAUSE HE WAS WATCHING ME!!!

Him: We offer a program. It’s one hundred dollars, and it goes from March 28th until June 2nd. It meets weekly, and you get the benefit of a personal trainer who talks to you about technique, hydration, and the importance of warming up and cooling down.

Me: Warming who and cooling what?!

Him: PLUS, you get to run with people who are at the same exact level as you.

Me: I hope they’re not terribly pretty or chatty. I also hope they want to go out for mozzarella sticks afterwards.

Him: They meet at Creve Coeur Lake.

Me: That’s embarrassingly close to my house.

So, there you go. I’ve been sidelined again (I’ve been told that shin splints should take less than two weeks to clear up) for the time being, but it looks like I have the springtime option to run around a lake with a group of people who aren’t any better than me! Definitely something to consider. I cannot even begin to express how discouraging my 5K journey has been. (I hate it when people talk about their journey, by the way. And here I go, being all “My 5K Journey” and crap. I’m exasperating!) I *will* run a stinking 5K with my sister (Unless I have bone cancer and have to have both legs removed. Google briefly mentioned that while I was doing my research, but I told him to settle down.), and I *will* do it before August.

(Unless, of course, I don’t. BUT, I’m sort of impressing myself with this newfound fortitude action. The sprained ankle didn’t bring me down. The physical therapy didn’t bring me down. The shin splint weirdness isn’t bringing me down. I’m a runner living in the body of someone who is not a runner! I need an exorcism in reverse. Or something similar! (Mozzarella sticks sound really good, too.)) ‘ ‘ ‘text/javascript’>

It’s not you, it’s me! Grab a pillow. I’m about to make you very sleepy!

Today is a good day, because the only events for which I need to leave my house are: Get Gas and Take Kids to Piano Lessons. Get Gas is normally paired up with Create Gas Station Cherry Vanilla Diet Dr. Pepper, and Piano Lessons always means One Hour of Knitting. So, despite the fact that I need to put some work into our downstairs office (we’re getting a new water meter tomorrow!), my day will be broken up with good things.

Speaking of knitting, I’m on the edge of starting one of these for myself. The shawl in the photo was knitted by Tempe, and I believe I need one in black. With beads. I’ve been all over the place with knitting lately, mainly because I have less than six things on my For Other People list. I didn’t knit one thing for myself during 2011. I’m going to try to make up for that this year!

My book club is now reading The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks. Have you read it? I really need to spend less time watching Cary Grant movies and more time reading. (I attended our book club meeting yesterday, and had read only 50 pages of the book. I actually had the audacity to blame Cary Grant for my inability to finish it. This is unacceptable.)

Last week I mentioned that I feel a huge wave of introversion coming on, and I received a few messages that offered up some introversion high fives. Thanks for that! To explain a bit further where I’m coming from, we all know that I deal with a bit of anxiety in social situations, and my cocksure shoes can carry me only so far. My introversion is separate from my social anxiety. My introversion nearly always results from me starting to feel a bit flummoxed by others. (I know! If you can’t relate to this, it sounds so ridiculous! I get that!) The gossip bores me. The not-so-genuine laughter tends to affect me the way a perfume counter affects me. I start over-analyzing the intentions of others. I could go on and on (and on! et cetera!). When I start feeling this way, there’s nothing I enjoy more than sitting on my couch by myself and knitting. Or sitting at my computer by myself and pumping out some freelance work. I still shower and wear clean clothes, but I tend to not leave my house or answer the phone, and I’m 100% content to simply be alone. I know. This entire paragraph is sort of bananas. It gets better: I also avoid grocery stores that don’t have self-checkout lanes. AND, I’ve been known to leave a grocery store if the self-checkout lanes aren’t open! If I worked in an office, I would be the lady who cries in the parking lot because she can’t stomach the thought of water cooler banter. (I used to be that lady. Lady. Why does Lady look so odd to me right now? Lady. Lady. Lady.)

I’m hoping that when this particular bout is over, I’ll have a lovely lace scarf to show for it. And a new water meter! Let’s talk about something else!

Oh no! This is no more interesting than that: After one week, I’m 2.5 pounds into my ten pound weight loss gig. How do I do it? I just do it. There’s really no other way. Move more, eat fewer cookies, drink water. Sure, the Weight Watchers notebook comes in handy so I can remember just how many Ritz crackers I’ve eaten (ten is fine. an entire tube is not so great.), but I refuse to actually attend meetings (I do love the meetings) unless I’m at my goal weight. (I’ve given Weight Watchers a lot of money. If I’m at my goal weight, I don’t have to pay.) I realize that sounds sort of backwards, but it works.

Harper had her first basketball game on Saturday, and during the game it really hit me that Harper and I are the same person. For the past several days, I’ve been encouraging her to try harder both at practice and at the game. I’ve said things like, “Don’t worry about making baskets. It’s a team sport! Concentrate on passing and dribbling and blocking the other team! Give it 100% so you can walk away feeling awesome about how your team played!” During the game, she spent most of her court time playing with her hair and distancing herself from everyone. She had the best time sitting on the bench and drinking water. Afterwards, she reported that she was really nervous.

Perhaps I should teach her to knit lace.

Oh no. You’re bored, and it’s my fault. Hrm. I’m looking forward to having Chinese food on Wednesday! Also, I’m going to be watching North by Northwest this evening! (Ack! See Paragraph 3!) AND, I’m going to try making spaghetti squash! (I had some at a friend’s house last week, and it was incredible.) Lace shawls! Lace shawls!!!

Edited to Add: A huge thank you to Robin for sharing this article. It sums it up perfectly. PERFECTLY. I need a shirt that says, “Hell is other people at breakfast.”

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Peter Frampton and Shoes – Peter Frampton + A Touch of Anxiety

When Jeff goes out of town, I tend to be a really great parent for about three days. After the third day, I get tired and cranky and “IF YOU CAN’T HELP YOUR SISTER, THEN I CAN’T HELP YOU!!!” Bedtimes go from 8:00 to 7:45 to 7:30 when Jeff is out of town. Today is Day Five of Jeff being out of town, and I’m spent. He’ll be home tomorrow. He’ll be home tomorrow. He’ll be home tomorrow.

High five to all of the single parents out there. I honestly have no idea how you do it without help from others. It takes a village and all of that, I suppose.

I could sing songs about all of the things that went wrong yesterday, but songs about dogs needing to be lifted over a bad fence and Couch to 5K applications updating unexpectedly and kids fighting instead of practicing the piano? Yep. Those songs don’t travel very far.

I remember being a kid and hearing this song for the first time. I think it’s the very first song that really affected me. (The piano. Ahhh, the piano.) Thirty years later, and the song is still traveling with me. (It has absolutely nothing to do with dogs and fences and kids. Oddly, it has everything to do with practicing the piano.)

Ah, but there was a “scars into stars” moment yesterday evening.

The UPS guy stopped by with a box from Zappos! This is definitely my new favorite pair of shoes. (They take the place of my favorite pair that I purchased a few months back, which replaced the favorite pair I purchased last year. Here’s my analogy: Gymnastics in 2012 are totally different than gymnastics in 1976. The flips are wilder. The beam routines are more dangerous. Gymnastics in 2042 are going to be preposterous. There is no time for laziness or backstepping. I cannot jump over a horse or bend myself into unnatural angles in order to fly onto a high bar. Therefore, I try to seek out cute shoes that I feel won’t trick me into falling down, and then I outshoe myself. Are you with me?)

Best of all, with green Mary Janes on my feet, my soles will be bouncing.

This is vital right now, as I feel a HUGE wave of introversion coming on. (It always hits in January.) With a bouncing sole, I won’t feel quite so guilty about staying home.

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The Hodge and the Podge

The worst paper cuts come from pizza boxes. I know this because Jeff is out of town, and when Jeff goes out of town, we tend to indulge. When there’s a fresh pizza in the house, I often cannot open that box quickly enough. (I’m currently sporting a Donald Duck Band-Aid on my right middle finger.)

This morning I finished up my first redo week of Couch to 5K, and I’m hating it just as much as I hated it three months ago. My goal is to run a 5K sometime around my 42nd birthday, which is in May. 42 is one of my favorite numbers, so I’m feeling fairly confident that the birthday 5K won’t kill me. (I don’t believe in irony.)

This evening for dinner I grilled a portobello mushroom with some fresh spinach and plopped them onto an English muffin with some Colby Jack cheese and horseradish mustard. It was the best thing I’ve eaten in quite some time, and it added up to only seven points. Yes. I’m doing the Weight Watchers thing again. I love/hate it, and it always works for me when I do it the right way.

I’m knitting my first project from my handspun yarn.

It will eventually be a pair of fingerless mitts.

I’ll keep you updated. ‘ ‘ ‘text/javascript’>

Guacamole Funna Do

I don’t make resolutions. I toy with plans.

When 2012 hits, I’m going to toy with the following:

1. Wear these shoes. (Okay. I ordered them last night. I plan on matching them up with skirts in the spring.)

2. Knit something or other, spin something or other, and take on more freelance projects.

3. Dance like someone’s watching.

4. Cry when Drew Barrymore cries.

5. Drink just as much water as coffee. I want two cups of coffee? Okay then, as long as it’s followed with two cups of water! Live long and prosper, kidneys.

6. Run. Or walk. Or just do something. Less time behind the computer. More time outside.

7. See what this whole Foster the People thing is all about.

8. Lose ten pounds. (I always do this in January. I have no self-control in November and December.)

9. Donate and/or toss enough stuff to help us reach the “Yes. Our house can now go on the market.” stage of moving forward.

10. Learn to say No when I want to say No instead of kicking myself for NOT saying No.

11. Choose two of the following three: Read More, Write More, Do More Math.

12. Dim Sum?

13. Go to the gym at least ten times OR bake biscotti twice.

14. Vote for whomever Matt Damon tells me to vote for. (Vote for whomever Matt Damon tells me for whom to vote.)

EDITED TO ADD: Oh! Wait. I would also like to hold a baby monkey. I have no idea how to make that happen. Does anyone out there have a baby monkey I could hold? Does Matt Damon have a baby monkey? Because: Killing two birds with one stone and all. (Figuratively.) Happy New Year to you. ‘ ‘ ‘text/javascript’>

I was going to make a Chernobyl joke, but it’s still too soon.

I’ve been doing a lot of this lately:

In the past five days, I’ve watched four Cary Grant movies. I started out with An Affair to Remember, next up was People Will Talk, then The Grass is Greener, and Walk, Don’t Run. I started Charade last night and will probably finish it this evening. The bowl you see in front of the screen isn’t for ice cream or coffee (or circus peanuts or cubes of cheese or Swedish Fish or wasabi peas). It’s a bowl that Gina made (she’s a potter!), and it keeps my yarn from falling off of the computer stand. It’s brilliant. Let me show it to you.

The side of the bowl has a spiral slit. You pass the yarn through the slit, and that allows the ball of yarn to spin and flop all over inside the bowl, but it never pops out onto the floor!

(I’m currently working with brown alpaca yarn. I’m making one of these hats for the sister of the lady who cuts my hair. Crazy, am I right? I’m not! I am.)

Anyway, when Gina first asked what I thought of yarn bowls, I mentioned that one of the local yarn stores carried them and although I really liked them, I couldn’t quite get past the cutesy sheep painted in the center of their bowls.

When Gina’s bowl arrived, she included something awesome just for me.

Once again, I love (all but one of) the people who stop by Fluid Pudding. (Don’t worry. It’s not you. And it’s not ewe, either! Ha ha Ha HA HA!!! (I’ve been drinking.) ((No I haven’t.)))

By the way, as soon as the hat is finished, I’m going to get started on this sweater. For myself! In that same exact color! (Do you think I should add three or four inches to the length, or should I focus more on losing five or ten pounds? I really love the Trader Joe’s Milk Chocolate Covered Potato Chips!) ‘ ‘ ‘text/javascript’>

The Stimulatory Effects of Caffeine and Dog Pajamas

Well, hello there!

This morning we’ll be attending our fifth (and final) Christmas celebration. There will be turkey, but not for me. (There will be green bean casserole and mashed potatoes for me. Also, granola made by my sister, which happens to be the greatest granola anyone has ever eaten.)

The theme for this Christmas has definitely been Caffeination. I received a Keurig Home-Brewing System on Sunday, and have been drinking entirely too much coffee for the past two days. Yesterday I received an IngenuiTEA, so I spent the evening watching The Grass is Greener, knitting a hat, and drinking jasmine tea. As a result of the madness, I’m a bit jittery and the skin on my face has taken on the appearance of tectonic plates. (My Juan de Fuca plate is threatening to separate. I’ll keep you updated.)

Meanwhile, I have discovered how intoxicating it can be to put clothes on a dog.

Scout is now begging for Mork suspenders and one of those arrow headband things.

Wild and crazy, indeed. ‘ ‘ ‘text/javascript’>

Makin’ all that noise because they found new toys, Alice Cooper.

When this year’s Christmahanukwanzaakah concert was announced, I was ready to do something different.

I’ve done piano stuff for the past three years. In my mind, it was starting to get stale.

This year I decided to (perhaps drink a beer and) sing while I play. Anyone who knows me knows that I am NOT a singer. This was going to be a potentially horrifying and humbling experience! Can you feel the sizzle?!

I grabbed the guitar chords for this song and got to work. (At the piano. I *have* had dreams during which I’m an awesome cellist, but alas. A string player I am not. (Yet.)) (I know. Some people consider the piano to be a string instrument. Potato, Potahto.)

Get this. I quickly discovered that the key was a bit too high, so I TRANSPOSED it to better suit my inner tenor canary. (I tell you this just so you know how SERIOUS I was.)

Last week I set the camera up and did a trial run. My camera picked up the piano, but not my voice. I moved the camera. Once again, piano, but no voice. I tried again while SCREAMING the song all spoken word style. No luck. With no time to work up anything else on the piano, I let my shoulders sink and decided to skip this year’s concert.

Wait. That link deserves more attention.

Click right here to be taken to this year’s concert. As always, Neil has done an amazing job of putting it all together. (Be sure to check out his contribution, too!)

Yesterday afternoon the girls came home from school and announced that they are playing Christmas songs on the piano at the school-wide assembly. This is the holiday assembly that found me crying and beating my hands against my thighs two years ago. Please know that at approximately 2:00 this afternoon, I am going to be the disaster standing in the back of the elementary school gymnasium. Immediately following the assembly I will need to get myself together so I’m not This Mom at the holiday parties. (Psst. I know he’s not a mom.)

If I can get a decent video of this afternoon’s performances, I’ll share them with you. With that said, please know that I’ve taken about 3,293,493 photos in that fluorescent lighted gymnasium, and none of them have turned out. (I really wish I knew how to work a camera. Goal for 2012. Right after “Make the fingernails feel like you care about them.”) ‘ ‘ ‘text/javascript’>