Balance!

WHAT I DON’T LOVE: Having a cold that waters my eyes and blocks my nose and hazes my head.

WHAT I LOVE: Removing my Birkenstocks just long enough to apply a cold-fighting essential oil blend to the bottoms of my feet. (Here we go again with the foot talk. I’m so sorry!) I’m walking around smelling like cloves and cinnamon and lemons and the cats are very much into me.

WHAT I DON’T LOVE: Having my new debit card declined at Costco and then being asked by the burly tan cashier (BTC) if I’ve exceeded my daily spending limit.

Me: It’s not even 11:00 in the morning and I’m buying almonds and fruit snacks. I don’t think I’ve exceeded any limits.

BTC: You probably have an exceeded daily limit.

Me (to myself, obviously): I’M ABOUT TO EXCEED MY LIMIT RIGHT NOW, ROWDY RODDY PIPER!

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WHAT I LOVE: Clearing up the “potential fraud” issue with the bank in the parking lot and then returning to Costco where I threw the burly tan cashier a stink eye and a Pretty Woman attitude.

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And I’m driving a stolen car.

In less than eight hours I’ll be standing in a big building with Jeff and Bruce Springsteen. (I’ve heard other people will be there, too.) This will be Jeff’s tenth time seeing Mr. Springsteen. It will be my third.

When I first saw him (in 2008) it went a little bit like this:

I'll be like Courteney Cox! Sort of!

When I saw him in 2009, this happened:

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I’m all kicks and giggles about tonight for three reasons: 3. Date Night. 2. Bruce Springsteen. 1. I get to see a friend whom I haven’t seen in six years and she’s a knitter and an animal lover and has it really been six years?!

Unrelated: I talked about Nancy Reagan three times in the past week which is more than I’ve EVER talked about Nancy Reagan. 1. On Tuesday I told the girls about the Just Say No campaign. 2. On Wednesday I told the girls that Nancy Reagan was dead. (She wasn’t. Yet.) 3. Yesterday I told the girls that Nancy Reagan didn’t really endorse Hillary Clinton, despite what the Internet has told us.

I’m not sure where I’m going with this.

Would you drive all night just to buy me some shoes? ‘ ‘ ‘text/javascript’>

Streaming, Flaxen, Waxen!

This one is about my hair. Buckle up!

The woman who cuts my hair was out of town for a month, so I’ve been sort of lazily growing things out. I suppose one could argue that every single person is constantly growing out their hair because that’s sort of what hair does. Even if you’re sitting in the chair getting your hair cut, it’s still growing out. Isn’t life magical with the breathing and the weird digestive noises and the hair growth?

Anyway, this morning I went in for a shaping which isn’t a haircut although the same tools are used. My neck is now shaved and my ears are now perky (I have no idea what I’m saying) and the hair on top of my head continues to grow. (As it does.) Anyway, I wanted to take a photo for you to document my long hair so I read an article about the most flattering ways to take selfies when you’re haggard, and the experts say that holding the camera as high and far away as you can get from your face is the best way to go.

Here.

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This might just be the best photo ever taken of me. Henry’s there. Scout’s there if you look closely enough. The wadded up bathroom rug is there. Meredith’s Galaxy Vans are there. Also, my hair is there.

Does it bother you that I’m upside down?

Wait a second.

(It’s funny, because the beard makes me think I just joined The Decemberists.)

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I’m okay with Weirdo as long as it’s preceded by Compassionate.

This morning I walked the mall with a friend I’ve known for a little more than a year, and I love her because she’s like a walking creative deep thought provoker. For the sake of convenience, I’m going to refer to her as Easy-E—not because she resembles the godfather of gangsta rap, but because her first name starts with an E and I’m always looking for ways to reference N.W.A.

Easy-E: So, I’m reading a book and I’m not even three chapters in and the author has asked “If God were to meet you on your worst day, what are you afraid He might name you?” Also, “If God were to meet you on your best day, what do you hope He would name you?”

Me: On my worst day, I’m afraid He might call me Impatient Doubter. On my best day, I really hope He would just call me Kind and a good representative of Team Christian.

We then talked about how our families would name us if they had to name us today.

Me: I think my parents would name my sister Headstrong Hero. I think they would name me Quirky Weirdo.

We then talked about how our kids would think we would name them today, and because I’m currently on Lexapro I’ve become a bit of an emotionless robot BUT if I wasn’t medicated, this would have been the part of the conversation that brought tears to my eyes.

Me: I hope they wouldn’t choose something like Rackety Annoyance because I’m sure that’s how I make them feel sometimes. I really hope they would say something like Captain Confident Creativepants or  General Genuine Generous. I hope they wouldn’t say Lazy Screen Lover or Damn Picky Eater.

Easy-E: How do you think they would name you?

Me: I would probably be Bipolar Migraine Crank, but I really want to be Reluctantly Brave Animal-Loving Best-Mom-Ever Yoga Hero.

This conversation has been on my mind all afternoon. Just out of curiosity, how would you want to be named today? (And don’t say something like Samantha, because that’s just sort of a given.) ‘ ‘ ‘text/javascript’>

L’aceto è un bruciatore tigna.

I’ve been going through a thing lately where it’s becoming obvious (to me) that I’m not getting any smarter. I’m sure it just sort of happens when you reach a certain age (maybe?) and become content with your surroundings (maybe?), but it’s making me very uncomfortable because I don’t like being the only person in the room who can’t work the Roku remote. (Not that the working of a remote control indicates a respectable level of intelligence. It doesn’t.) ((I can do Sudoku.)) (((I’ve been known to complete the Wednesday NYT crossword puzzle.)))

Anyway. I’m currently rubbing apple cider vinegar on my neck and rolling around in this book.

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The vinegar is helping me smell like a hardboiled egg in the midst of a fancypantsing, and the book is teaching me Italian. Ms. Lahiri wrote the (autobiographical) book in Italian (because she is currently writing EVERYTHING in Italian, which is explained in the book) and then had it translated into English by the woman who translated The Complete Works of Primo Levi. (Although I haven’t read the complete works of Levi, I have read The Periodic Table and it’s one of my favorites. If you were here, we would be drinking coffee and talking about books. But you’re not here. It’s just me with the coffee.)

When you open In Other Words, the verso side of each page spread contains the chapter as written in Italian. The recto side holds the English translation. I started the book by focusing on the translation, but now I’m finding that I’m skipping back and forth and am able to occasionally decipher Italian phrases and the experience is boosting my confidence more than any witch hazel/tea tree oil mask ever could.

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(Look how long my hair is! It’s been actively growing since 9:19CST on December 21, 2015.) ‘ ‘ ‘text/javascript’>

Leap it like a leaper leaps!

Today I made some Leap Day pinto beans in the pressure cooker for our Leap Day taco salad and I took a Leap Day walk before I demanded some Leap Day satisfaction at the groomer.

I then cast on a Leap Day hat.
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I realize that NaBloPoLenta hasn’t been a thrilling adventure. I have a project that has prevented me from leaving the house. But! Wait! Sometime in the next week or so I’ll be making a spray for my yoga mat and hosting a giveaway! (I’m sometimes contacted by companies who want me to give away weird things that I would never use. Last week I was contacted by a company that jazzes me. It’s going to be good.) ‘ ‘ ‘text/javascript’>

It should be the final day in February, but it’s not!

Today I met a friend for walking and lunch and praline lattes at a place that looks exactly like this:
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While there, we pulled out some coloring books and did a little of this:
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As I was shooting breezes, Jeff was walking down the street to an estate sale, where he scored this for a dollar:
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Also, I spun, I did yoga, I picked up sticks and branches in the front yard, and I smelled like a bowl of Fruity Pebbles. I almost feel like life is MC Honky-ing me today…


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